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Upset wife / need help


Vegas Teacher

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O.K. all I know I have been a little active lately on the sight and I promise to take a brake after a while but this is the last one I promise. I would like to say that I really do appreciate all of your advice you have given me. The knowledge the people have on this forum is second to none and I have learned a lot from you all, like not to say 10 - 4 "good buddy" yep will never make that mistake again. But over the last couple of years I have gone from saving for the semi, to shopping for the semi, to buying the semi and now to working on and repairing the semi.

Semi repairs and the wife.................

First of all my wife is the best. She is my best friend and I always am trying to be the best husband I can be for her..................

O.K. when I was getting ready to buy the semi we had many conversations about the trade off when buying the semi. I told her we would have to do some repairs and bring it up to speed and get it on the road. I have done the front hubs, wheel seals, inner cooler had a massive hole in it and got it welded and buttoned up, brakes, new batteries, shocks, Schrader valve replaced and it needs 3000.00 in new tires plus I want to build the bed for my "Toad." Then onto saving for the Fusion 420 that we drooling over for the last year. Last but not least I need to get some body work done on the orange pumpkin to make it look good, it has a few cracks in the fiber glass. 

I look at this a $1000.00 here and a $1000.00 there. I see it as an overall investment in our future plus we are still years away from retirement. My goal is to have everything done by the time we retire including buying the Jeep for my "Toad" then just little things. I actually tried to explain what we are doing is really minimum Engine is good, Trans is good and Diff's are good and a lot of the big stuff is good but the wife is not happy about the money being spent on the truck and got a little bit p!$$y about the last bill of 1700.00 for labor alone. However I did take back 485.00 in parts that were not needed, we just bought everything we thought we might need then took back what we did not need. 

So has anybody else ran into this type of stuff with the significant other. My wife just gets caught up with money and not the big picture.

Later,

Vegas Teacher - Cory Ossana 

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Man are you trying to get yourself hung?????:huh:  I'm sure she would have been ok with you buying a new rig and then turn around and spend money for the little things? 

2011 CAN-AM Spyder Rt SE5, 2010 Alpine 5th wheel, 1998 Vovlo VNL610

Hopefully 2 years 6 month till full time retirement.

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Sorry Cory, I flunked my class on Marriage. I did excel at Divorce 101 though. I obtained my Bachelor's degree in My Lawyer Whipped Her Lawyer but you aren't to that level of education yet, so I'm afraid I can't help you with this course of study. 

I'm sure DollyTrolley has some valuable life lesson for you if he will happens along. 

MY PEOPLE SKILLS ARE JUST FINE.
~It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.~

2005 Volvo 780 VED12 465hp / Freedomline transmission
singled mid position / Bed by Larry Herrin
2018 customed Mobile Suites 40KSSB3 

2014 smart Fortwo

 

 
 
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You're doing GOOD!! I have had to pressure-test the couch in my current marriage, but wouldn't trade her for anything. Opposite of my first one, she was a test pilot. Until the broom factory closed.......................

You'd have to see the movie to understand..........

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12 minutes ago, ARGO said:

You're doing GOOD!! I have had to pressure-test the couch in my current marriage, but wouldn't trade her for anything. Opposite of my first one, she was a test pilot. Until the broom factory closed.......................

 

LOLOL!!! Now that's funny!!!! :lol:




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Time to start pulling your own wrenches. The labour charges will eat you alive. Once you get to stuff like swapping tires, hired labour is needed, but the Schraeder valve incident, and little things like that will bankrupt you.

 

Ohh, yea, never buy anything with a cord for a present. Ever.

I have been wrong before, I'll probably be wrong again. 

2000 Kenworth T 2000 w/N-14 and 10 speed Gen1 Autoshift, deck built by Star Fabrication
2006 smart fourtwo cdi cabriolet
2007 32.5' Fleetwood Quantum


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30 minutes ago, Big5er said:

Sorry Cory, I flunked my class on Marriage. I did excel at Divorce 101 though. I obtained my Bachelor's degree in My Lawyer Whipped Her Lawyer but you aren't to that level of education yet, so I'm afraid I can't help you with this course of study. 

I'm sure DollyTrolley has some valuable life lesson for you if he will happens along. 

Hey how are you enjoying my home state? The trees should be turning. Where are you going after the Rally? If you plan to travel any let me know if you are headed any further east, I can tell you great places to eat if you get over to my home town.

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Back off on the spending for a while. By the tires one axle at a time. Truckers don't replace tires based on age. The replace them when they are cut, cracked or worn out. You can also sell your used tires to the tire shop for trailers. 

Ron C.

2013 Dynamax Trilogy 3850 D3

2000 Kenworth T2000 Optimus Prime

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41 minutes ago, Big5er said:

Sorry Cory, I flunked my class on Marriage. I did excel at Divorce 101 though. I obtained my Bachelor's degree in My Lawyer Whipped Her Lawyer but you aren't to that level of education yet, so I'm afraid I can't help you with this course of study. 

I'm sure DollyTrolley has some valuable life lesson for you if he will happens along. 

Oh ya thanks Phil for dragging me into the die--vor-ice gig.......

Ok Cory since I have been ElEcTeD to save your mangey--hide..........Listen-Up.........

This is gonna-hurt more than going to the uroligest and him saying......."hummm , well it looks like I'll need to run the scope up your U-N0-WHAT!!!

So here is the deal........YOU GOTTA GET YOUR WIFE TO BUY-IN-T0-THE-TRUCK!!!!! 

At this point you are a "Dead-Man-Walking (well maybe running).

Trucks and wives have a few things in common........both will get you by the throat and choke you to death........AND.......getting rid of a truck AND OR wife ALWAYS has ....."Costs"

Now I am ........NOW going to save your life........and no you can never thank me enough....... so don't even try.......

FIRST:  Dogs are .......OK.......BUT.....Dogs are way TOO small to help you now that you are almost dead

Dogs are TOO small...

Dogs Don't eat enough.....

Dogs Don't drink enough.....

Dogs Vet bills are NOTHING.....

Dogs are just too Whimpy to help you

SO.........You have some "killer--puppies" and you are still ....."toast"

SO..........(Drum-Roll))))))........BUY YOUR BRIDE A HORSE!!!!!!

OH ya Phil is a expert about "die--vor-ice" and likely could give you the cell numbers of some "scum-bag-lawyers" but you will still be "burnt-toast"....

I.......on the other hand had my .........."die--vor-ice" way before Phil ever herd of Dr. Pepper or Girlz.........

Any horse will COST way more than ANY truck will cost.......ditch your house and buy the Bride a Mini-Ranch shucks in Vegas the slum-mini-ranches start at $1,790,000 and UP.......Way UP

Horse feed is purchased by the TON.........and they eat ALL day AND NIGHT!!!!!

In Aug Dolly got a gut-ache (her gut weighs more than than you AND your dogs combined) so.......we haul Dolly to the "horsepital" and they put needle the size of a rail-road-spike in her neck and hoisted a SEVEN Gallon IV into the rafters and hooked up a garden hose to give her a huge IV............."WE" got lucky and Dolly did not need the $15,000 up to TWENTY-SEVEN-THOUSAND DOOOOLAR Colic surgery.......shucks no her overnight stay was a bit under $4,000 .........CASH …...NO CREDIT CARD!!!


 

For a few decades I had a herd of airplanes and thats not a very good way to save money for sure but I always had a older Cessna 182 for a Pickup airplane and for the most part for a few thousand dollars per year the old bird did well……….Every year…….EVERY YEAR the darn horse Annie cost more than the 182 did……..EVERY YEAR……


 

So Cory …...skip class TODAY go buy that Horse and then you will be spending so darn much money that no matter how much spend on the truck it is chump-change compared to what you spend on a horse……


 

Now IF by chance you think I am pulling one of your body-parts……..just contact Shallow Draft here on the forum…….he has so much spare $$$$$ he has to have more than one horse just to stay poor…..


 

So get that darn horse and the truck-troubles will seem like a little-tickle……..


 

Oh ya Phil…...it may take a while……..but I'll get even…….


 

Drive on……..(Horse makes truck seen dirt-cheep…….)

 

97 Freightshaker Century Cummins M11-370 / 1350 /10 spd / 3:08 /tandem/ 20ft Garage/ 30 ft Curtis Dune toybox with a removable horse-haul-module to transport Dolly-The-Painthorse to horse camps and trail heads all over the Western U S

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For November, buy 2 front tires.  If the fronts blow it can kill ya.  If the rears blow, it just makes a mess but you have 3 more to get off the road with.

Skip December and Jan.

February- begins the time to get the truck ready for "Summer Vacation".  If it is mechanically sound and it should be by now, go enjoy it.  Take a weekend and go to the West Coast Rally. 

March- buy the 4 rears if singled or the 8 if not.  You don't have to buy the most expensive tires out there.  You just need tires that aren't weather checked or rotten.  I run Hercules 801 on the rear.  40k+ miles with no issues.

Use the truck for awhile "As Is"  and then start the repairs list again.  

These trucks ain't cheap, but once repaired correctly they roll for a very long time.

Alie & Jim + 8 paws

2017 DRV Memphis 

BART- 1998 Volvo 610

Lil'ole 6cyl Cummins

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2 hours ago, Darryl&Rita said:

Ohh, yea, never buy anything with a cord for a present. Ever.

And even if it's "cordless", the charger has a cord.  Step ladders are also bad.  But we've been married 43 years, so I've made some points in that time.

As above, start doing some of your own wrenching.  Start small, and ease into it.  Get your wife involved, maybe even dirty. I'm sure you can find a place where you won't fit, but she can wriggle in to hold the wrench or fish a wire through.  She'll gain a sense of accomplishment and feel she's a part of the adventure.

Good luck.

KW T-680, POPEMOBILE
Newmar X-Aire, VATICAN
Lots of old motorcycles, Moto Guzzi Griso and Spyder F3 currently in the front row
Young enough to play in the dirt as a retired farmer.
contact me at rickeieio1@comcast.net

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2 hours ago, Big5er said:

Sorry Cory, I flunked my class on Marriage. I did excel at Divorce 101 though. I obtained my Bachelor's degree in My Lawyer Whipped Her Lawyer but you aren't to that level of education yet, so I'm afraid I can't help you with this course of study. 

I took those same classes, though I hung around longer and got a Ph. D. It only takes 2 more wives......

This thread, light-hearted as it is, really drives home why I live with a dog. You reach and age where even conjugal visits are not a very high priority, and constant female companionship would be a totally pointless frill. I passed that point LONG ago.

What I did, for times I might miss having a spouse, is went up to my music studio, recorded some phrases like "You're doing it wrong. That was really stupid. Where are you going? Who are you going with? When will you be home? I wanna go wiiiiiiiiiiith you. That's too much money. What do you need another guitar for? You're going top fast. Why are you going so fast? I want to invite my mother to come and spend a week with us." Then using pitch adjusting hardware I turned my deep baritone into a high, whining alto. After that I recorded a loop of those phrases, about 45 minutes long. If, at any point I miss that, I can just pop that CD into the player and it will be JUST like being married.

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22 minutes ago, Fred47933 said:

This was my first post....and I am still on my first marriage (31 years).

31 YEARS!!!!

MAD props to you for making that happen. I SO envy people with the personality and temperament to make that work for them! I have been married 13 1/2 years of my life and it took me 3 wives to do that. It just isn't for me.

Marriage can either be prison or Disneyland. I didn't like prison, so when the pardon came, I took it and ran. Stupidly I was a repeat offender.

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I've got 40 years to the woman I met when I was 18, married her at 19 and she is behind the step up from our MDT to an HDT.  She had a Class B license, driving kids around in a 40' bus for a while, so she gets the need to safety and maintenance.  BTW- I'm a contractor and it isnt unusual for her to "volunteer" to help on on jobs when needed.

I feel blessed. 

Marcel

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I've got 21 years in so far.  

The key to my wife in a project like this is to have her "buy in" to the truck.  She is the main driver of it for many of our trips, while I fly the plane, so I have catered the build to suit her.  (With a little coaching...)

Av8r3400
2012 Volvo VNL 730 D13 iShift & 2021 Grand Design Momentum 397TH

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I'd rather die trying to live - Than live trying not to die.   -Leonard Perry

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Another point.... 

For us, the Volvo is our only Vehicle.... It is our daily driver as well as our home mover.  So with that in mind, when Alie hears a different squeak or the sound changes when scooting down the highway, she looks at me and asks "What was that", if I don't answer immediately, the next question is "Whats wrong and do we need to stop and have it fixed".  

There is a difference in Must Haves, Needs, and Wants.

You have to have headlights....

I need Deep Space Lightings, David Dixon's upgrade lights.

I want the upgrades and the driving lights.....

But the Volvo stock lights work for the little time we actually drive at night.  Alie knows that if we start doing night moves or in the dark driving, I'll start bugging her again about them.  

You don't have to have tire pressure monitors,  rearview cameras, Sears elite seats, .......

Just be safe and mechanically sound.

Alie & Jim + 8 paws

2017 DRV Memphis 

BART- 1998 Volvo 610

Lil'ole 6cyl Cummins

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My wife of 30 years was warned when we bought our HDT that we could possibly end up putting more money into it to bring things up to code and then work on the wants of what we want in our truck. a few small repairs both done ourselves and a shop, so now if it goes to the shop and the cost is less then a grand she says Oh that's not to bad, LOL

2017 River Stone Legacy 38MB

2001 T2000 Kenworth

2009 Smart Passion

ET Junior hitch

 

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15 hours ago, Dollytrolley said:

Now IF by chance you think I am pulling one of your body-parts……..just contact Shallow Draft here on the forum…….he has so much spare $$$$$ he has to have more than one horse just to stay poor…..

So get that darn horse and the truck-troubles will seem like a little-tickle……..

Drive on……..(Horse makes truck seen dirt-cheep…….)

 

So....I've got no dog in this hunt, but.....I think that D-T speaks from vast experience. I'm not as "experienced" as he is, but I'll add my two cents in.....

Sometimes people ask ....if they think they know us real well, and are feeling bold.....how we managed to "retire" when I was 48. Not wanting to get into the details of our work life, I usually just say....  "We sold the horses....".   True, actually. Those things will eat you alive.....  :(

Jack & Danielle Mayer #60376 Lifetime Member
Living on the road since 2000

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2022 New Horizons 43' 5er
2016 Itasca 27N 28' motorhome 
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No truck at the moment - we use one of our demo units
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See our website for info on New Horizons 5th wheels, HDTs as tow vehicles, communications on the road, and use of solar power
www.jackdanmayer.com
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20 hours ago, Vegas Teacher said:

 

Semi repairs and the wife.................

look at this a $1000.00 here and a $1000.00 there. I see it as an overall investment in our future plus we are still years away from retirement. My goal is to have everything done by the time we retire including buying the Jeep for my "Toad" then just little things. I actually tried to explain what we are doing is really minimum Engine is good, Trans is good and Diff's are good and a lot of the big stuff is good but the wife is not happy about the money being spent on the truck and got a little bit p!$$y about the last bill of 1700.00 for labor alone. However I did take back 485.00 in parts that were not needed, we just bought everything we thought we might need then took back what we did not need. 

So has anybody else ran into this type of stuff with the significant other. My wife just gets caught up with money and not the big picture......

How does that saying go??? Oh yeah, "the difference between men and boys is the price of the toys".

How does a $1000 here, $800 there for some nice jewelry, which will last forever, sound.  Think of the big picture....not just the money.... :D

Al & Sharon
2006 Winnebago Journey 36G 
2020 Chevy Colorado Toad
San Antonio, TX

http://downtheroadaroundthebend.blogspot.com/

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 Ya just need to calm down and think what is happening.  Take the good advice on the forum and work things out.

 

  Since Christmas I have been working on installing a hydronic heating system in our fifth wheel. This has been in my spare time.

 Some of it was in the DW spare time as in why do spend so much time working that thing. So just had to work on it when things were good, just not when I wanted to.

 

 So finally got everything together and the temperature has cooled down enough to test the system. Now she is glade (sorta) that I spent the time to install the system.

 

 It really has an even temperature from the floor up. Like the floor will be seventy degrees when it is on. Right now I am testing the temperature of the room with just the gas furnace.

 

 Now there is a problem as in there is bad smell at times with this new heating system. Oh no The DW noticed it. Yea what did you do that makes it smell when that thing is on. Finally figured out that the diesel exhaust is leaking in through the two gas furnaces. Yes that is hard to believe but they are not sealed 100 percent from outside to inside air. So make a exhaust stack up the side of the RV. The deisel fume smell disappears.

 Ok boy she did not like that smell .    She was a little upset with fumes in the RV.

 

 Now back to testing. Rear heat on and front bedroom heat on last night. The rear of the living room is 70 degrees on the floor and is 30 something outside. The DW goes to the bedroom area for something and comes back says now there is another odd smell in the bed room from that thing down below.

 

 So now turn that thing off again and use the gas furnace. No more discussion on the new system last night.

 I go to bed thinking what the heck is that smell. I do try to keep any chemical substance as paint or jelcoat material in the bed of the truck.. It is only with the bed room heat on. Finally think I mite know what it is. The bed room heat exchanger is sitting on top of a permanent tool box in the basement area. Years ago I glue some rubber roof material on top of the tool box. Could the heat cause a odd smell from the rubber material.Or what else is in the storage area that would produce that smell.

 

 I better see what is happening before she get awake. Or at least a good idea what it is.

 

 

 Now there is another subject on our relationship to be solved next week. Where are we going when we leave Montana. Well what passes are we going over. She has the map the kitchen table. This is the only time she can read a map.

 I do not know. But she will be watching the weather and the map. I tried to sneak a trip from Vernal Utah north to Flaming Gorge Utah several years ago. That was in the spring of the year.

 Two thirds of the way up the pass the snow finally got to the edge of the road, then it got white on the road. Passenger seat was steaming.. Call a truck that was behind me and he said the snow will disappear shortly. He just came over the pass and was returning.

 

 So some times there can be odd looks from your spouse.

 

take some off ,.   Vern

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This lesson gets taught over and over again, you need deep pockets to own a HDT. I was part owner in a small trucking company that had 5 pickups, 1 MTD , and 2 semis, and I repeat, you need deep pockets for the HDT. I encourage people that are considering a HDT to do their due diligence and not get caught up in the hype.

The sugar beet farm I am working on was quoted $35k for a new motor (Cummings, $30k new, $5k labor) in the 05 International semi I am driving. They ended up doing a in-frame build and replaced 2 cams for less cost, I did not hear final cost numbers.

Been married for 37 years and I tell young people to chose your prom date wisely, it could be a lifetime thing. :)

Greg, edit in yellow

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2 hours ago, Al F said:

How does that saying go??? Oh yeah, "the difference between men and boys is the price of the toys".

How does a $1000 here, $800 there for some nice jewelry, which will last forever, sound.  Think of the big picture....not just the money.... :D

Al, when I was married, I had the florist on speed dial..... 'nuf said.

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14 hours ago, Jack Mayer said:

So....I've got no dog in this hunt, but.....I think that D-T speaks from vast experience. I'm not as "experienced" as he is, but I'll add my two cents in.....

Sometimes people ask ....if they think they know us real well, and are feeling bold.....how we managed to "retire" when I was 48. Not wanting to get into the details of our work life, I usually just say....  "We sold the horses....".   True, actDually. Those things will eat you alive.....  :(

DT and JM are 100% correct.  LOL!!     Headed to Maricopa for the winter soon with 3 in tow.

2004 Volvo 630, Freedomline, Rear view camera, Max Brake, Jackalopee, 38 ft 4 horse LQ Platinum, 40ft Jayco Talon toy hauler

Http:/www.flickr.com/photos/shallow_draft/

Https://flic.kr/p/fqhyAN

 

You are not lost if you don't care where you are!!

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It certainly has been enlightening learning more about the lives and wives of my fellow HDT'ers.  Like many who commented I also have a first wife..... and now a second - but not at the same time.  Wife #1 didn't like anything I did that was not her idea or creation.  She detested my Ham Radio, car projects, camper renovations and interest in computers.  Perhaps some of her attitudes can be attributed to my "damn you I'll do what I want" mindset at the time. 

Wife #2 is an entirely different story.  She not only tolerates my vehicle obsessions but involves herself so that she is a part of what I like to do - and thus I like doing it even more with her involved.  I believe that if I decided I wanted to buy a used 747 to fix up she would agree - as long as she was a partner in the project.  This one is a keeper for sure.  FWIW, so is my dog.

Now Cory, just reading your postings and questions I get the impression you are much younger than many of us gathered here.  I also suspect you are still in the class of newly married.  If I am wrong please let me know.

Many decades ago I was also struggling as a public school teacher.  Financially keeping my head above water was difficult, so I had a second job servicing the school system's audio-visual equipment.  It was a tight budget and I was conservative about what I spent money for that was not a real need.  Still, some projects or obsessions would get away from me and I either had to pull back, stop or increase the balances on my credit cards.

I get the impression that even though your bride bought into the HDT project in the beginning that she now sees it as an avalanche.   If the investments in your semi are perhaps negatively impacting your family budget or increasing your debt load I will take the side of your wife.  I will also take her side if your time with the semi is becoming more important than time with her.  This knowledge about relationships and "partnering" come to me with experience learned from many mistakes over at least 50+ years as a maturing adult.

The advice of others to prioritize what you do with the semi and hold off on the "wants" until the "must haves" are met is well stated.  Don't expect your bride to blindly follow your own obsessions - she absolutely has to be part of the project and, I am sure to your chagrin, be able to direct a significant part of the long-range plan.  Trading wives is much more difficult than trading trucks.  Finding one worth keeping and then doing what is necessary to keep her happy is much more difficult than finding another truck.  Step out of the circle and look at what you are doing - then ask yourself if it is really what you want and if it is worth the potentially irreparable damage it may incur.  BTW - I have given this "fatherly" advice to my own now grown children.  Unfortunately, it was never given to me so I had to learn the hard way.  I survived, but I have scars from it all that will never go away.

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Randy, Nancy and Oscar

"The Great White" - 2004 Volvo VNL670, D12, 10-speed, converted to single axle pulling a Keystone Cambridge 5th wheel, 40', 4 slides and about 19,000# with empty tanks.

ARS - WB4BZX, Electrical Engineer, Master Electrician, D.Ed., Professor Emeritus - Happily Retired!

 

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