Sleeping trouble for married folks

[PAylor]

Hi all,

 

I have always had insomnia. This past year we to a nine month amazing journey in our fifth wheel. The only bad thing about the trip was that I had some pretty serious health issues. I have resolved most of the health issues except the insomnia which seems to be worse.

 

My hubby is a sound sleeper who snores. The best thing for me is to just go to our spare bedroom at home. When I was sick on our trip I slept on the couch.

 

We will be traveling again in two and a half months. I'm trying to transition back to the bedroom with the hubby. But the separate bedroom option seems to be the best answer for me getting some sleep.

 

Surely there are others out there who have this trouble. Any suggestions?

 

Thanks in advance!

[NJTroy]

Suggestions for sleep? I find both melatonin and magnesium helpful. Other than that, strict sleep protocol. Regular bed time, no tablet/phone/laptop for an hour before bed, cool bedroom temperature, white noise sometimes, comfortable bed arrangement. If the real issue is your husband's snoring, then a sleep study is really important for his health as well as your sleep.

[Guest THE TRAILERKING]

Maybe he has sleep apnea?

I do and my wife is so happy that I went to the sleep clinic.

I don't sleep over anywhere without my machine.......And wifey sleeps good too.

[Second Chance]

As a retired Army nurse, I second what NJTroy and Trailerking have said. It sounds like the issue is as much your husband's as yours. A sleep study for him would be a very good idea. In addition to the sleep aids NJTroy mentioned, Benadryl (available very inexpensively in generic form at Walmart) is very safe and effective. It's an extremely safe OTC medication. My wife has sleep apnea and we BOTH sleep much better when she uses her CPAP. I still use 1/2 tab (12.5 MG) of Benadryl at night during allergy season.

[budeneighe]

Good advice, here. Address the basic problem, first. Then, it really depends on the nature of your insomnia. exercise (like walking) in the early evenings sometimes helps but teach your body the routine you want to live by.

 

I have sleep apnea, snored and was diagnosed and began treatment with an APAP machine in fall 2001. I no longer snore but my wife still does. Though her sleep study puts her apnea almost as bad as my own, she refuses to engage a CPAP machine.

 

The real problem is not the snoring but the side effects of the abnormal breathing which will raise blood pressure, worsen type II diabetes and force one's daylight hours into a series of micro sleep sessions which one cannot control. The judgement and coordination impairments caused by sleep deprivation has been proven to be equivalent to intoxication. Just because one is snoring does not mean they are getting the necessary rest. If it is also keeping you from resting then there are two people that may be functioning all day like they were intoxicated.

 

I have an exaggerated startle response. Seems to be genetic and when it is elevated, even the slightest percussive sounds startle me awake and I don't return to normal levels for a long time. I sleep in foam ear plugs. They don't completely make it silent but they do dull the percussive noises enough that they don't startle me and I stay asleep. BTW, snoring is a percussive noise.

 

We also often slip our sleep schedules. If we go to bed at the same time and one can't get to sleep, that one gets up and does something, often productive, until sleepy. Usually, in the following morning, the one that did get sleep, quietly gets up first and out of the bedroom and takes care of whatever can be done softly and quietly until the other wakes up. It is not unusual for the one left to sleep in the morning be the one that got the best rest of the night.

[Bill Joyce]

Maybe he has sleep apnea?

I do and my wife is so happy that I went to the sleep clinic.

I don't sleep over anywhere without my machine.......And wifey sleeps good too.

X2 - both my wife and I have CPAPs and use them every night. We have sufficient battery capacity and inverter to overnight without hookups.

[Jim Gell]

Sleep studies may be in our future. I plan to loose some weight first, because it seems my snoring has proportionally gotten worse as I gained weight in retirement. Having lived in a Manhattan neighborhood, with several large hospitals and considerable noise of sirens etc, we found a white noise sound machine to be very helpful. We used sound insulated black out curtains as well. Now that we are full time RV'rs we still use the sound machine. While we were at the Hutchinson, KS Fairgrounds, for the HDT Rally, someone mentioned trains waking them at night, Cathy and I never heard trains or anything else at night.

 

I am hesitant to suggest you try a sound machine instead of a sleep study that may indicate you need a CPAP for health reasons, but it has worked for us so far.

 

Jim

[Guest THE TRAILERKING]

I wouldn't worry about "losing the weight FIRST and see what that does" mentality. If need a CPAP......Then get it.

With the proper sleep you will likely lose weight as you will be more energetic I can testify to that. However even though I lost weight and the area around my neck thinned out, I still need my "Sleepy Machine" (CPAP). It's my Life-Line.

[budeneighe]

Yep. The vicious circle starts with insufficient rest. That keeps adrenaline at higher than normal levels which sets the whole system at a devcon 4 level to start with. In that state, the constant higher adrenaline drives glucose levels up to be "ready" for fight or flight. Next, the pancreas starts raising insulin levels to also be ready for the sudden need to run. Endocrine system does not know the difference between fight, flight, infection or stress. The stasis at Devcon 3 that is reached between the higher glucose and insulin levels, blocks glucose release and prevents fat metabolism so no weight loss is likely until all systems return to devcon 5. For that to happen, the adrenaline function has to return to normal and that won't happen until there is significant sleep recovered.

 

Losing the weight may not even be possible until the body is at rest and not at Devcon 3 or higher.

 

This same mechanism spurs blood pressure, thyroid (mood swings) and pushes everything toward dehydration even with the same amount of liquid intake. It is an insidious interlocking system that is meant for only short term use but in our age, it is the undiscovered country in the health world.

[LFDR3116]

One thing your DH could try until getting in for a sleep study is the nasal strips. They sure made a different in how much my hubby snored. That and he re-trained himself NOT to sleep on his back. If he does occasionally end up on his back I just ask him to roll over - he does and the snoring stops.

[Ray,IN]

Sleep studies may be in our future. I plan to loose some weight first, because it seems my snoring has proportionally gotten worse as I gained weight in retirement. Having lived in a Manhattan neighborhood, with several large hospitals and considerable noise of sirens etc, we found a white noise sound machine to be very helpful. We used sound insulated black out curtains as well. Now that we are full time RV'rs we still use the sound machine. While we were at the Hutchinson, KS Fairgrounds, for the HDT Rally, someone mentioned trains waking them at night, Cathy and I never heard trains or anything else at night.

 

I am hesitant to suggest you try a sound machine instead of a sleep study that may indicate you need a CPAP for health reasons, but it has worked for us so far.

 

Jim

We also use a white-noise machine for sleeping. We both trained ourselves to sleep with the machine running long ago. We can stop for a rest at a truck stop/WalMart, etc. and never hear outside sounds. I had the surgery to stop my snoring 15 years ago since the sleep study was negative, but it didn't work very well.

[soos]

I use earbuds to listen to music. I have specific playlists that have no loud or startling songs. Some of the songs are in gaelic, and its actually nicer not to know the words.

I also take the childrens dose of benedryl, the meltaway kind when needed. Its just enough to keep me asleep with no after affects in the morning.

 

Sue

[Bill Joyce]

A friend uses Provent Therapy devices on motorcycle trips instead of bringing his CPAP along - http://www.proventtherapy.com/. They might work for those who "hate" a CPAP.

[HSVBamaBob]

Hi all,

 

I have always had insomnia. This past year we to a nine month amazing journey in our fifth wheel. The only bad thing about the trip was that I had some pretty serious health issues. I have resolved most of the health issues except the insomnia which seems to be worse.

 

My hubby is a sound sleeper who snores. The best thing for me is to just go to our spare bedroom at home. When I was sick on our trip I slept on the couch.

 

We will be traveling again in two and a half months. I'm trying to transition back to the bedroom with the hubby. But the separate bedroom option seems to be the best answer for me getting some sleep.

 

Surely there are others out there who have this trouble. Any suggestions?

 

Thanks in advance!

If your hubby snores, it is very likely that he has sleep apnea. Does he snore and then stop for a moment then snore again? That's apnea. I know, I have it.

 

Insominia is also a sleep disorder.

 

Both of you should go to a sleep clinic ASAP and consult a Sleep physician. There are remidies for *both* of your conditions. If your DH's apnea is not too severe, he may be able to use a dental appliance (I do and I love it).

[HSVBamaBob]

Good advice, here. Address the basic problem, first. Then, it really depends on the nature of your insomnia. exercise (like walking) in the early evenings sometimes helps but teach your body the routine you want to live by.

 

I have sleep apnea, snored and was diagnosed and began treatment with an APAP machine in fall 2001. I no longer snore but my wife still does. Though her sleep study puts her apnea almost as bad as my own, she refuses to engage a CPAP machine. <SNIP>

Talk to your sleep physician about a Somnodent dental appliance for your wife. It is a approved durable medical device and our insurance covered it at 100% Like your wife, I could not tolorate a CPAP or APAP (I refer to it as "Air substituted water-boarding" LOL).

 

LOVE my SomnoDent though!

https://somnomed.com/patients/somnodent-product-information-for-patients/

[PAylor]

Thanks so much for all the great input. I went to my primary care doctor today. We're going to try short term medication. If that doesn't work then a sleep clinic is next.

 

To those of you who have done sleep therapy - can you tell me a bit about the process? Talk therapy, medication, etc?

 

Also I don't think the hubby has sleep apnea but it is good to keep in mind. I think he also need to learn to not sleep on his back and we might try the nose strips.

 

Thanks again!

[Guest THE TRAILERKING]

They called me in.

Hooked up a zillion sensors all over my body from head to toe.

Hooked me up to a monitor and told me go to sleep just like always.

They came in later and woke me up.

They put a CPAP on me and said try go back to sleep. It was strange to get used to but I finally fell asleep.

They came in the room and woke me up in the early morning and I felt like an Energizer Bunny.

They showed me the monitor read out before and after sleeping with the CPAP and pressures adjusted to my situation (everyone pressure setting differ).

I now go to sleep on my back and wake up still on my back. I used to always be a on the side sleeper....Not anymore.

Life is good.

[Bill Joyce]

My wife had a similar experience to Trailerking, twice, once in 2005 and another in 2011 to recheck. I got the cheap, at home, version this spring. They sent me a battery powered gadget I had to strap to my chest, then added a monitor to my nose (was I breathing) and finger (blood oxygen). My wife slept on the couch to not nudge me in the middle of the night. It was a bit of a pain, but I did sleep the night. The next day I sent the machine back in its included mailer. I ended up with an APAP (automatic CPAP), since the system did not determine my pressure setting. Supposedly next year my doctor will be able to analyze the data on the SD card (or the online report since the machine calls home every day via the cell phone network), and determine the pressure setting.

[budeneighe]

An APAP is almost always better and is now covered under the same medical code as a CPAP.

 

But, in many cases, people actually need an auto Bilevel because they have a problem with aerophagia (pressure pushing air into the stomach). That can be uncomfortable enough to keep the patient from resting even though they are not snoring.

 

I strongly recommend that before you even get a sleep study you carefully peruse several forums on Sleep apnea and treatments. Start with CPAPTalk.com and SleepNet.com. These are where you find the perspective you need to really understand what the issues, treatments and really effective solutions are for sleep apnea. You will find the members there to be as helpful in the sleep troubled world as escapees are in these forums.

 

Due diligence is the solution to starting with the right solution for you. If your sleep study doctor/tech is not listening to you then find another one that will. It's your health that is on the line and not their paycheck.

[sandsys]

I've also been told that machines have various comfort levels for various people. Getting fitted with one that is right for your wife might help.

 

Linda Sand

[Dave O]

One thing your DH could try until getting in for a sleep study is the nasal strips. They sure made a different in how much my hubby snored. That and he re-trained himself NOT to sleep on his back. If he does occasionally end up on his back I just ask him to roll over - he does and the snoring stops.

Breath Rites are the type I used for years and will use again if my wife tells me I have started snoring again.

 

Dave O

[ms60ocb]

Good advice, here. Address the basic problem, first. Then, it really depends on the nature of your insomnia. exercise (like walking) in the early evenings sometimes helps but teach your body the routine you want to live by.

 

The real problem is not the snoring but the side effects of the abnormal breathing which will raise blood pressure, worsen type II diabetes and force one's daylight hours into a series of micro sleep sessions which one cannot control. The judgement and coordination impairments caused by sleep deprivation has been proven to be equivalent to intoxication. Just because one is snoring does not mean they are getting the necessary rest. If it is also keeping you from resting then there are two people that may be functioning all day like they were intoxicated.

 

I have an exaggerated startle response. Seems to be genetic and when it is elevated, even the slightest percussive sounds startle me awake and I don't return to normal levels for a long time. I sleep in foam ear plugs. They don't completely make it silent but they do dull the percussive noises enough that they don't startle me and I stay asleep. BTW, snoring is a percussive noise.

 

I wouldn't worry about "losing the weight FIRST and see what that does" mentality. If need a CPAP......Then get it.

With the proper sleep you will likely lose weight as you will be more energetic I can testify to that. However even though I lost weight and the area around my neck thinned out, I still need my "Sleepy Machine" (CPAP). It's my Life-Line.

 

 

If your hubby snores, it is very likely that he has sleep apnea. Does he snore and then stop for a moment then snore again? That's apnea. I know, I have it.

 

Insominia is also a sleep disorder.

 

Both of you should go to a sleep clinic ASAP and consult a Sleep physician. There are remidies for *both* of your conditions. If your DH's apnea is not too severe, he may be able to use a dental appliance (I do and I love it).

 

 

Talk to your sleep physician about a Somnodent dental appliance for your wife. It is a approved durable medical device and our insurance covered it at 100% Like your wife, I could not tolorate a CPAP or APAP (I refer to it as "Air substituted water-boarding" LOL).

 

LOVE my SomnoDent though!

https://somnomed.com/patients/somnodent-product-information-for-patients/

 

 

I got the cheap, at home, version this spring. They sent me a battery powered gadget I had to strap to my chest, then added a monitor to my nose (was I breathing) and finger (blood oxygen). My wife slept on the couch to not nudge me in the middle of the night. It was a bit of a pain, but I did sleep the night. The next day I sent the machine back in its included mailer. I ended up with an APAP (automatic CPAP), since the system did not determine my pressure setting. Supposedly next year my doctor will be able to analyze the data on the SD card (or the online report since the machine calls home every day via the cell phone network), and determine the pressure setting.

X2 to all the above. Sleep Apnea has many side affects and the Home Study is a excellent way to Start. That was my start at Mayo's Clinic and instantly I was told I needed a sleep study as my Blood oxygen had gone to less than 80%. .My Sleep study showed I stopped breathing on the average of 17 times an hour for various duration. Yes I had an airway restriction but the dental method would not solve my problem. I also had a medicine change at the request of the Pharmacy (Name Brand medicine to Generic, Half life changed from 13 hours to less than 2 hours) which caused my Blood Pressure to be high when sleeping. The result when the BRAIN called for more OXYGEN the hearth would work harder/faster and my Blood pressure was already high. Thus wake up with headaches and a few times my hearth racing.

 

I have had my CPAP 4 years and have since bought a home O2 - Pulse monitor that stores about 300 intervals an hour and readable via your computer, I have used it to verify I'm still OK within some guidelines..

 

For Medicare the target to keep your breathing stoppage to less than 5 times a hour.

 

Another hint you may have severe Sleep Apnea is ask your self if you are Dreaming, If not dreaming you are not sleeping well. This is something I wasn't aware of but now I dream

 

Clay

[kinseypw]

When we decided to fulltime the first consideration was 2 bedrooms, preferably at opposite ends of the trailer. We looked at a lot of bunkhouse models and finally decided on a 2011 Cougar 322QBS. I modded the front bunkhouse to have a bed, chest of drawers and a desk where all my computer and cell and wi-fi booster gear is set up. Wife has the rear bedroom with the big double bed. It has worked well for us. If we do ever have to share a bed ear plugs seem to help

[theeyres]

I also use the Breathe Right strips. None of the generic work worth a darn. They either don't stick or pull skin off my nose when I remove them. The Breathe Right totally stops my snoring...just ask my wife. They fail only when I lay on my back.

[freestoneangler]

We've been using the sound machine for 10 years now. When we moved, we did not realize that the train noise down on the valley floor sounds close during certain times of year/weather. It now travels with us on trip for hotels and it will no doubt be useful for RV travel.

 

I'm more concerned about my height and being able to stretch my arms out to the sides without whacking my wife in the noggin . In all seriousness, the bed side wall layout is a feature/design that I've been paying attention to in which coach we get.