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Thanks everyone. Tomorrow is the cemetery thing, so another rough time, then it should get better.

 

Stan, dad is dead set against assisted living for now. He seems receptive to living with children, although I only have 2 brothers close by. The rest of us are spread out all over. He does not travel well any more so we'll see.

 

I will be doing his bills from long distance. I have everything set up online. Monday we are going to his bank and adding me to the accounts, and removing mom. I have spent the last three days setting everything up, cancelling everything not needed, calling his union to set up new beneficiaries, checking on life insurance policies (several old policies that are no longer in force, darn). Mom like to shop online. QVC, HSN Spring Hill, and several others. I have cancelled everything not shipped, paid all unpaid or due bills, got a few credits for unpaid stuff, and generally shut down that money pit . I have set up several appointments for him already. It's just been a very large mess!

 

Well we just got home, so I am going to take a break and have a cocktail. Sat. we will move the coach to storage and move in with dad. Fortunately the storage area is only about 3 miles from his house.

 

We both do really appreciate the thoughts at this difficult time. Thank to all my "classmates"!

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Thanks everyone. Tomorrow is the cemetery thing, so another rough time, then it should get better.

We both do really appreciate the thoughts at this difficult time. Thank to all my "classmates"!

 

Medico, you have been a real pleasure in the forums... and I'll bet camping with you in person would be even better.

 

From my experience, these things will pass... level out, and a new perspective will come about. My father died quite early, and my Mother went into dementia at age 63. We worked thru the Assisted Living entry... and my Mother came about to accepting - even liking, it. I kept her apartment, parked her car in front of her window at the new home... and let her know that 'it is there when you get better'. I knew that would never happen. After a while, she forgot... I took care of her bills, kept her engaged as well as I could... and made the tough medical decisions when those times came around.

 

Unquestionably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in life. Unquestionably the thing I am most glad that I was able to do. But also, I was able to get on with things in life... travel (not motorhoming - yet), raised kids, church, civic duties...

 

Don't know what your path may be, but there will be 'a way' to be a good son, and still live the life you choose. Good luck with things... keep posting!

Jim

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Thanks all, things are vastly better today. We put the coach into storage for a month or 2 to move in with dad. Since mom did all the bills and medications and appt's., etc, dad was lost. We miss our coach, but this lifestyle afforded us the opportunity to do so. None of my siblings were able to do so. They have all gone home now.

 

Once we either convince dad to move in with my brother or an apartment, we can work on the stuff mom had purchased over the years, thousands of things. We will most likely look into an estate sale company as the undertaking to do so ourselves would be difficult as we all live far away now.

 

We are starting the plan for our trip back to Florida. We're thinking perhaps a stop in Myrtle Beach and Savannah along with a stop in Baltimore to see our daughter and family.

 

Well that's all for now. Thanks every body!

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We have my mom (89) in a senior living apartment, lots of other old folks and no noisy kids. She is on the minimal plan, doing everything (aside from maintenance) herself but she can get maid and laundry service if she wants it later. They have a bus that makes regular runs to the local mall and a selection of grocery stores as well as a shuttle to get you to your doctor, she uses it to go with friends even though she still drives a bit. She doesn't use their dining plans but does spend time in the social room and attends their entertainments and such.

 

She is easily bored, hates TV and can't listen to radio much so getting her surrounded by potential friends and activities was important to us, she was miserable in her house that my sister had moved her into, with nobody nearby in her age group and it was hard to keep the yard up on her own. Now she has a thriving home business mending/altering clothes and she even takes in ironing if she has time. Add in the dog walking she is getting into now and she is working a 40 hour week and loving it. She hasn't adjusted to the modern age at all though and is still charging about $2.00 an hour for her services.

 

The complex also has assisted living and nursing home care so she won't have to move away from her friends if her health gets worse.

 

Compared to a few years ago you'd not realize she is the same person and all form getting her somewhere she could be active instead of shut away.

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Just tossing out options and thoughts for Medico to run past his dad, sometimes it is hard for an older person to think about alternatives and they need a bit more of a push to get them thinking about being active in planning what is going to happen to them.

 

Trudy's dad was like that, he had no vision of any alternative to staying in HIS house that he had lived in for 50 some years that adjoined the house he was born in at the back property line. Her family tried a lot of things including having one of the grandkids move in during their last year of college and none of them really worked. Her younger brother started looking at assisted living places (her dad had Parkinsons and a bit too much confusion to do his own meds so independent living was out) and found a couple that were really nice. Hauling her dad over to one, showing him what would be his room helped. Having him stay for lunch and meeting the other residents was the winner though, that decided him on the move.

 

So it isn't just finding the right place, and that is the right place for the old person - not you, isn't enough, you need to inspire them to take a chance on changing their lifestyle and that can be hard on all involved.

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Our thoughts are with you Medico as you continue to help your dad sort his life out. I believe we are fortunate in that we can be adaptable with the lifestyle we have now and know that when we are needed it is possible to spend the time to be there for family. My mother-in-law just broke her foot and our first reaction was did she want us to go and be with her to help her. She is still very independent though and wouldn't hear of it. We do Skype with her most days to keep in contact as she is lonely since my father-in-law passed away.

 

Stan, you have done well in getting the elders sorted out and thanks for sharing your experiences.

 

We have just left Savannah and are heading up the East Coast, now at Parris Island and next stop will be Goose Creek, near Charleston. Maybe our paths will cross somewhere along the road.

 

Take Care

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Stan,

We will be discussing this option with dad. We're trying to wait for him to get through the early phases of grief. He is getting there now. My next younger brother lives the closest to dad and is coming in today. We will be starting a discussion with dad. He is on his way to play golf in his league today. He missed the first day last week, but we thought it best for him to go today. It was actually his idea.

 

Mom was becoming a hoarder so there is so much stuff, plus she was 81 and did not clean well the last few years. You can guess the mess we had.

 

Last night my DW was going to do one final cleaning project in the bathroom before settling down for some TV. She picked up a bottle of bath and tub cleaner, the top was not screwed on, the bottle fell to the floor and splashed fluid in her eyes. Next, after flushing what we could at home, was a hurried trip to the ED (same one mom was in) for an eye flush and exam. We have to make an app't today with an ophthalmologist to have her eyes checked. Everything looks good so far, but when it rains, it pours. We have to pick up a couple of scripts for her eyes.

 

I'm going to make sure she rests a little for the next few days. The cleaning can wait.

 

Well that's all for now. I was hoping to post news of our Colorado adventure and instead am posting news about our family adventure. Oh well, life goes on!

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  • 3 weeks later...

It has been so long since we set our goal for 2013. Never believed it would take so long to sell our home. Log homes in the country are not for everyone! Finally, yes finally we have a contract. I have learned so much from so many wise travelers. My question's are...is it true that V A Loans are tough and take a long time?... 2 months seems very long for a pre-approved buyer... Suppose to have inspector on Friday.. What can we expect and how long should it take?

We are so excited and have been dreaming about this for years. Thank you for any info you can share.

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Most gov. loans tend to take longer than conventional, I believe. I believe FHA are the worst. Do not know how VA compares.

 

Back to my exploits, DW is fine. No lasting effects. We did visit an ophthalmologist and he said no damage to her eyes! Hooray for small favors.

 

After about a month living with dad, and cleaning house, we have moved back into coach to see how dad does by himself. We are attempting to convince him to move in with my brother. He says he may visit for a while. I think living on his own will get to be too much. I have been going shopping with him, but he keeps forgetting his grocery list. He also sometimes forgets his evening meds. We will have to keep calling to remind him. We have a month's worth of meds laid out in monthly boxes for him. We all sure hope he chooses to move in with my brother. That will sure help.

 

For now we are paying for a site about 25 miles from his house. We will visit 2 or 3 times per week to see how he is doing. It sure is nice to be into our "house". We missed it VERY MUCH!

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My heart is so with you and your wife. I lost my mom two years ago to follow a year later my dad. We too encouraged him to move in with one of us girls. He needed to cling to his memories of mom in thier house. We found that he could take very good care of himself when we finally allowed him to. My prayers are with you. Time moves quickly and heals the deepest hurts.

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We will find out about caring for himself. I am doing all his bills, and we set up his meds for him. Someone in the family will have to do so each month because he can't. We will also have to order his meds as they start to run out. This will be the hard part. I think over time he will start getting his groceries OK. Still the best option is to move in. He presently lives in the country. We will see over the next couple of weeks.

 

Thanks for you thoughts.

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Can't wait, 1 more month of working, actually 16 work days, and we will be free to travel where ever we want. Been living in Moho for nine months and so far so good. First week of July, we will be in Santa Barbara, CA for a week and then Lake Havasu, AZ for a week and a half, then up the oregon coast on our journey to Box Elder, SD. We are both very excited to finally be able to hit the road.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wife is done working the day before Independence Day. July 7th we take off, 1 week in Santa Barbara CA, 1.5 weeks at Lake Havasu AZ for some boating, yep, I know, very hot. Back to CA for a wedding on August 2nd. Then on the 3rd, head up the Oregon coast and then over to our new home, Box Elder SD. God willing.

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Yes, sounds like a very good plan. Have a ball smack2020!

 

We are presently sitting in my sister-in-law's driveway as a way to help defer rental. We plan on being here for a couple more weeks. It has been a great visit so far.

 

Once we leave we will spend a couple of days in Buffalo, NY at Colton RV to have a couple of items looked at. One thing I do not have to have them fix is my auto leveling. I finally found the sensing unit on my HWH air leveling system and was able to re-calibrate the system myself. Hooray!

 

We will head to Tomkins Pa for a 2 week stay at the Corps of Engineers campground there. We have a senior National Park pass and thus qualify for 1/2 price. Once we leave there we will make a slow trip south, staying in the Baltimore area for a couple of weeks for more visits, then heading back to Florida. The sudden passing of mom put a big damper in our summer plans, but we plan on making the best of it. Perhaps next year we can plan the adventure out west we were planning this summer.

 

We hope all our classmates, and indeed all our fellow RV'ers have safe and enjoyable travels where ever they are headed this year. Be safe everyone!

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  • 1 month later...

After many trials this summer, we are now in the Baltimore area for a week visit with out daughter and family. I will not go over all the things that have happened as I do not wish to think about them any more. Suffice it to say this was a "bummer" summer!

 

Thinking positively, we are having a terrific visit with our daughter, son-in-law and soon to be 2 year old granddaughter (just awaiting the final adoption decree. Birth mother has already signed off) They have been unable to have a child of their own and Emily is the answer to all our prayers. She is now well into her "terrible twos" and has been with them since birth.

 

When we leave here, our plan is to spend a week in NC at RV Resort @ Carolina Crossings, a few days in both Myrtle Beach and at Tybee Island (Savannah, Ga.), then back to Silver Springs, Fl. I know we are arriving home early, but after the summer we have had, we need to get back home!

 

We are once again planning the Colorado trip we had to cancel this year for next summer. The volunteer director at the SP we were going to Camp Host at is holding a spot for us. We'll have to see how much the budget has regenerated by then.

 

Would love to hear how the summer is going for some of our classmates!

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I am a classmate but I've not been active on this board. I wintered in Yuma at the SKP Ko-OP from mid Dec. to late march. We then boondocked at Lake Mead NWR for a few weeks, stayed at the FS campground Ten-x for 2 weeks while visiting the GCNP, spent 6 weeks at Park Sierra KO-OP exploring Yosemite, Sierra NF, Kings Canyon etal, curb-docked at my son's house in Boulder for 2 weeks and then went east to Seven Points campground east of Nashville where I currently sit. ( world's longest run-on sentence? ) So far, we love all of it. But Colorado was so amazing that we went land hunting for future reference. Too bad SKP's have no park or KO-OP there. We are wintering in Fl. this year, but can't wait to get back west.

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