How to approach someone

[Jinx & Wayne]

I'm not sure if it is okay to comment upon RV things we've seen, but I'm going to take a shot at it. We've been at several campgrounds in several states in the past few weeks. The trip south was faster than we planned. So no names and no places are mentioned. I'm not even going to mention RV or truck brand. This could be any large RV from Florida to Maine. If you still see yourself in this story take a hard look.

One of the biggest fivers I've seen actually traveling on anything but a HDT. Big expensive unit. Disc brakes and a good suspension. GVWR: 28000, UVW: 22900, GAWR: 24000 and Unladen Hitch Weight: 5065. Pulling the rig is a 3500/350 DRW 4x4 diesel fancy class crew cab long box. Curb wt greater than 8133, Front GAWR 5600, Rear GAWR 9900, payload less than 5867, and towing 32,500. These numbers are generous. There are lots of extras on the truck  Weights are in pounds.

The sites are perpendicular to a two-lane fine-gravel road. We backed into a similar site with a 37' fiver on a 350 in one shot but we do this quite a bit.

The driver drove up and the passenger hopped out. For some obscure reason the driver opted for a blind back-in. There is a good turnaround at the entrance about 100 yards away but driver decided on blind-side. The passenger went to the rear of the RV without a phone or radio. Driver started backing up. Passenger started waving arms in all sorts of what appeared to be incomprehensible combinations and shapes. Both were swearing at each other. Over the next hour there was one instance of some sort of expensive noise. Eventually they got into about the middle of a wide site. Not once did the driver get out and look. They occasionally spoke but it looked pretty heated.

Had I ever seen anyone outside I might have struck up a conversation about trucks and weights, but maybe not. Where do you begin?

I'm pretty sure they were over payload and probably over rear GAWR.

We get into a site using the GOALS model - Get Out And Look, Stupid! In earlier years we had some miscommunication and heartburn. This season we had one moment of that quickly ended. I am aware that this growth is a process over time. This year our full time kids gave us Tshirts that say "Sorry for what I said while we were trying to park the camper." We could laugh, so I can understand some stress. These folks were way out there regarding lack of communication and information gathering.

So I opted not to say anything. But this is a community. We may be scattered nomads, but we are still a tribe. Should I have tried to talk? If so, how?

Wayne

[Kirk W]

15 minutes ago, Jinx & Wayne said:

Should I have tried to talk? If so, how?

Those are good questions but I'm not sure that there is a good answer. I would be very slow to get involved while there is a heated exchange continuing between traveling partners. I would and have in the past watched for an opportunit to visit with them when they are in a good frame of mind but even then am very slow to mention the difficulties that I observed. I have asked such folks if they are new to RVing and if they say yes the ask if there is any sort of advice that I might be able to share with them. I would never indicate that I was aware of the heated exchange but I have told people in such circumstances how Pam & I deal with getting parked and avoid difficulties. It may well be that they don't realize that it is easier to back in to the driver side than to the passenger as that is a learned thing. I can remember having made that very same mistake. I would try and encourage them to ask questions, rather that givine unsolicited advice.

[Ray,IN]

re: blind-side backing. When I had a 2002 Chevy K3500, CC, LB, dually towing a 40' 5er, for me it was easier than driver-side backing. I could see the concrete patio pad and exactly where the trailer starboard side wheels were. The trick is having the right mirrors-and properly  adjusted.

Since I'm retired army, I taught DW their ground guide hand signals, never a word was spoken until I did the GOAL routine. She knew if either of us lost sight of the other I DID stop and GOAL.

I try to do as Kirk described, family squabbles is not the time to inject one's self into a situation.

[Randyretired]

RV parks have a few that are new or maybe not as good at backing as others but what I have seen at boat ramps will stick with me for a long time.  Seems there are a lot of inexperienced backers there.  Many are new at boating also.  The combination is ripe for a bad day.  One time I watched 2 men trying to back a boat and neither seemed to have a clue.  There conversation went like turn that way a see what happens.  After an hour or so they left.  I have seen a truck in the water, deep in the water.  I have seen motor homes launching boats and when they pulled out the storage compartments were draining.  An argument between boaters at the ramp was also pretty common.

[trailertraveler]

In my experience, relatively few back in sites are 90 degrees to the access road. I find it easiest to back in from the direction that presents the least angle whether that is from the driver's side or the passenger side. Backing into a site more than 90 degrees from the access road is not an easy task and I will even go the wrong way on a one way loop to avoid it. We did that just a few weeks ago at a COE park at the recommendation of the camp host. As for giving advise/assistance in the middle of an argument, I would avoid it.

[Larry Burkett]

That is what happens when you don't practice very much. I have to blind side into my driveway at home, and did it for years on the road. DW stands behind the trailer with her phone and only says something if I'm too close to something. Practice, practice, practice. 

[Jinx & Wayne]

Thanks. I gather answer is, "maybe, but carefully and not in the heat of the moment." That is pretty much what I thought.

My comment regarding blind backing being easier in some situations - if that were the case here he would still be backing in on a non-blind🙃.

Wayne

[ms60ocb]

My comment may break the ice is; "Some days are rougher then others". Be prepared for a comeback, but say something positive before you finish your task.

Regarding backing, my wife does not help on directions, its a left-right thing, her left or my left and I do don't do well with left or right.  But she does watch that I don't hit something and we do good.

Clay

[lappir]

I've never approached anyone, but have had several approach me after the fact. I'm not sure of their sincerity, but always appreciate their comments. It's mostly "How did you do that? " or " I watched you from inside my trailer and didn't know that would fit there."

I don't ever mind those type of comments and I know I struggled with some before actually getting there.

I travel single and have no one watching, so GOAL is my action all the time. Sometimes it's a GOAL once or twice and other times it's a GOAL MANY, MANY times. 

 

 

Rod 

Edited November 3, 2022 by lappir
removed a but and made a paragraph.

[fpmtngal]

I’m another solo and while I’m getting better at backing, I sometimes really struggle.  I always do the GOAL thing at least once, often more than once if things don’t go well or I’m having a day when things just don’t look right to me.  Occasionally someone will spot me struggling and offer to ground-guide me in.  I’ve been very appreciative of that sometimes, it can be really helpful to have another pair of eyes looking around.

I wouldn’t get involved with the situation you described.

[Jinx & Wayne]

21 hours ago, ms60ocb said:

my wife does not help on directions, its a left-right thing, her left or my left and I do don't do well with left or right.  But she does watch that I don't hit something and we do good.

That is our system for the same reasons. It works. It took time to get here.

Wayne

[Kirk W]

7 hours ago, fpmtngal said:

 Occasionally someone will spot me struggling and offer to ground-guide me in.

While I understand that and have even helped another RVer at times, be very cautious accepting such assistance as it isn't always reliable. A friend of ours had an RV park employee guide them such that their roof was damaged by an overhanging tree once.

21 minutes ago, Jinx & Wayne said:

That is our system for the same reasons.

Back when we were just getting ready to go fulltime, we attended a seminar that gave a lot of good advice about people guiding into a campsite which we still use today. One of the key suggestions was that directions be to the driver's side or the passenger side of the RV as that never changes. (the very reason that a ship has port & starboard) The other was that we should develop our own system and the always do it the exact same way. 

[rickeieio]

We use hand signals such as those commonly used in construction.  I would imagine those are the same as military.  I watch NO volunteers, only my wife.  I trust her directions, as she has a financial interest in our success.

We have an advantage, as being a retired farmer, I've had to back strange contraptions into bad spots all my life.  That doesn't make me good at it, but it gives us the confidence to try when others say we can't do it.

If I were travelling alone, I might invest in some cameras to aide backing.

As to the subject of the poorly paired tow vehicle/trailer, they are likely new to the game, and were told by a salesman that they were okay.  Too many folks assume that the motor is the limiting factor.  Many newer pickups have more advertised horsepower than our Kenworth.  None come close to the braking power.  I've scared the pudding out of myself and thus the safety margin.

[dblr]

13 hours ago, lappir said:

 

I travel single and have no one watching, so GOAL is my action all the time. Sometimes it's a GOAL once or twice and other times it's a GOAL MANY, MANY times. 

 

 

Rod 

I personally think there are never to many GOAL, that way hopefully never any damage

[mhs4771]

Not an RV, but just recently was stopped in the road as an Auto Transporter (Pickup with car hauler trailer) was trying to back into a BMW Dealer.  He kept pulling forward then backing, but he kept heading the same direction after numerous attempts.  Finally just gave up and left.

[jblo]

As a camphost, many opportunities arise to assist campers in locating their units. But it is not always the best thing to do.  If damage occurs, who is at fault?  I don't do this unless asked to help, too many things going on and not always the best result.  One thing that I have noted that works best, is to stand in front of the driver with angled side in view and direct from there--that way, hand signals are in the same direction as movement needed, not a mirror image.

[folivier]

While in Alaska we had a reserved campsite at the Teklanika campsite in Denali. We drove the 36' Foretravel into the park. Got to the campsite and drove around looking for a site we would fit in. Waited a few hours hoping someone would vacate a site big enough. Finally I decided to take the only site we'd hopefully fit in. My DW and I discussed what I'd have to do to manuveur into the site. It took about 20 minutes of easing in, pulling up, turning sharply, getting out and looking, but I finally got into our site. Got settled and sat out to relax. A fellow camper walked over and complimented me saying he thought he was sure I wouldn't fit.

[Randyretired]

When my DW was guiding me sometimes someone would step in to guide me often times trying to take over.  The first time that happened my DW stopped rather than cause a confrontation.  Afterwards we talked about it and agreed she is who I watch, period.  Often when boarding a ferry the one guiding will tell you to watch them.  They will guide you.  While I watch them I check myself.  If something goes wrong I have a problem.  I will help guide if someone asks but I don't volunteer.  

[Pat & Pete]

Our Monaco has a rear facing camera with a microphone .

DW can be well behind and  I can hear her directions .

Sometimes mirrors don't do much good , specially when the sun is in just the right place to make them useless .

Anyway , I often back the rig , with trailer attached . About the only time I get into much trouble is in loose gravel as the trailer takes very small corrections to right a direction and the gravel often will cause an over correction . 

As for 'helping' other drivers , I usually watch first ... If it's obvious that they need help , I offer or sometimes just step in and ask them where they want to end up , then 'help' . 

[Wrknrvr]

   I was at a boat dock once while a middle aged couple were unloading there nice looking boat off the trailer in the water.

  They got it unloaded, she parked the truck with trailer and came back to get in the boat.

  Off they went. Yep they did in there nice shiny boat. Then they came back fast. After he stoped the boat he got out and backed the trailer in really quick.

  She was holding on to the boat. Trailer went under boat real quick. Not careful but under the boat. Hooked the boat to the trailer and pulled out very fast.

   Once out of the water, the water started to pour out of the drain plug hole. Opps.  Forget to install the plug so they did.

[Kirk W]

1 hour ago, Wrknrvr said:

 Forget to install the plug so they did.

I saw a similar incident about 30 years ago with a deck boat. It was a tandem axle trailer and by the time that they got it out it blew out a couple of the tires as they pulled out.

 

[sheldons65]

I GOAL the site before even trying. Check for any obstructions. I'll form a picture in my mind of exactly what I want to happen and how it will look properly lined up on the side I can see. Happily will circle around if I'm not starting in the most optimal position. DW just watches the side I cannot see and informs me over cell phone if any issues.  

Once you get backed in pretty good and straight, small corrections to one side or the other are not complicated. DW keeps an eye on the part I cannot see. 

I've had some good help from camp hosts in complex sites. They knew the trick in dealing with a problem tree for example. A campsite neighbor came over and asked if I would like help. Was hot outside for DW. We discussed the plan beforehand. He knew hand signals very well. Aced it right in there the first time.   

A few times I've had to politely ignore someone.

You can also politely ask maybe the DW? I like to discuss with the driver, GOAL together, so we are all on the same plan. For me this works better than just running over and start flapping your arms randomly. 

[Ray,IN]

4 hours ago, Kirk W said:

I saw a similar incident about 30 years ago with a deck boat. It was a tandem axle trailer and by the time that they got it out it blew out a couple of the tires as they pulled out.

 

I did that once with my ski deck boat. I was already away from the launch area, so I hit planing speed until the water was sucked out of the motor well. Then leaned around the motor and installed the rubber plug. The rest of the afternoon went well.

[RV_]

We didn't call it goal but we got pretty good parking our fiver with our long bed diesel dually RAM.

We called that bickering bad backers RV entertainment back in the day. Yes we are kind folks and would love to help but if they are playing the "blame game" with their spousal unit/traveling partner how restrained would you expect them to be with someone with whom they don't have a relationship at risk, however good or bad?

I feel for those folks that can't get out of their own way. Now if they come and ask for help then . . .

We were traveling with our late friends Bob and Gloria They had a big HitchHiker too. on the way to Alaska and we were ready to leave and went over to see if the were running into trouble.  Bob taught me a lot as he was older than me by 20 years. I was ~46 at that time. Well the delay was a lady who had made a name for herself in the park for non-stop talking was in his driver side window as he was hitching up and he told me he could not get her to leave him in peace. So he got flustered and forgot to check his hitch was locked, pulled forward and dropped the fiver on his truck doing some significant crushing to the bed sides. We traveled several trips together because we each knew the other was experienced and we had each other's backs. He blamed himself, not the lady, for letting himself be distracted. In the many years I knew him he never made that kind of a goof with his rig.

 

[bruce t]

We watched one trailer for an hour in a state park trying to get into a space. No matter how they tried their hose wouldn't reach the faucet. It wasn't far away. Soon they unhooked. Left and came back in about an hour. Unrolled a new longer hose and settled in for the night. They found it easier to drive to a nearby town for a longer hose than figure out how to park the rig.

I would never interfere. Not because I fear a punch on the nose. But because it's great entertainment.

FWIW I'm blessed with great backing skills. I have no idea why. I just find it easy to back a rig. Even backed a 40ft MH with a toad 4 wheels down. Only 20ft but it did did it!