TherapyBound

Thank you all for your helpful replies. I'll begin therapy immediately.

Wow. This is one small thing in an otherwise beautiful life, and if you knew me you'd know how wrong you are. Sorry, but this is just mean-spirited answer to a question that got blown up into something it's not. My SINGLE concern is that we'll throw money at every small problem that arises, and frankly, I've been on this forum long enough to know that YOU answer questions about how to do minor repairs all the time. THAT was my question. Calling my marriage into question is way, way out of bounds, sir. I'm certainly not perfect, but I would challenge you to find a more patient wife. And you're absolutely wrong about me not wanting to make this trip. It's been a lifelong dream and we just sold a house I have loved for nearly 20 years to make it happen. There is no "constant worry". It's one small thing, and I asked one question. The answer I wanted was to the question of how people handle one partner's reluctance to be involved in small repairs rather than throwing money at everything when the budget won't allow that. I can show this thread to my husband myself. He'll agree with every word and be horrified at YOUR reply. You know not of what you speak. Shame on you for this comment. These are the kinds of repairs I'm talking about. I would imagine they add up over time, if you're having someone else do them. My single concern is that I hope to have 2 sets of eyes and hands on projects like these rather than being the only one responsible for figuring them out, or throwing money at them that we could have spent on enjoying something else.

He hasn't looked at the cost because he's always got some reason not to, and I think it's fair to say he's a die-hard optimist (unless something goes wrong) who believes we'll just magically handle whatever comes our way. I'm the more cautious of the two of us and prefer to be informed so we're not blindsided. I don't think it's fair to say I'm impatient. It's entirely fair to say there IS a limit, but it takes a while to get there. I can wait for him to do what needs doing, but that doesn't mean it'll get done. He's let me down, and I'm certain there have been times when I've let him down. He also delights me and surprises me and makes me adore him more and more for the wonderful husband he is. Isn't that life? But the issue I'm asking about isn't quite that heavy. What I'm asking about is, when one person wants to try to work out minor issues (together, at times, so they're not the only one taking responsibility) and the other...frankly...gives up if results aren't swift and dramatic, has anyone here got experience with that, and what solutions have they found so that the difference doesn't lead to resentment and anger (and unnecessary hits to the bank account). Or is it a serious problem I should be paying attention to?

This is definitely on our Must Do list before we head out. We're just moving into the house, but some things won't wait for much longer, and the dryer is one of them! I'm never after him to do repairs/etc. For the most part he's called someone in to do them, or I've done them, or he's done them if he feels comfortable doing them. It hasn't been an issue, but we've had a much different income than we do now. We're travel writers, and you can only imagine how THAT has gone over the last 18 months. In all our years of marriage the man has never been nagged, and never will be. That isn't our style (either of us). It's only now that I'm seeing this reluctance to tackle a repair we're not familiar with, as it hasn't been an issue before. We won't be full-timers, in that we'll still have a house. We'll be on the road for a year, then see how things are going. I know it's IF. He's less certain about that. I've looked at the costs. He hasn't. That's part of the problem, but he's the eternal optimist, and say's we'll handle things as they come up. I'm not seeing that right now, hence, this post. I'm sure it's just the clamp, as I can't get it to stay tight when I give it a gentle tug to be sure it's tight. It's been a long list of issues, some of it having to do with pipe diameter (which I figured out), trajectory (which I figured out), the correct bend (which I figured out) and so on. When the connection came apart tonight after every fix I could think of, that was the end. I'd failed, and I don't know why. I see nothing wrong with this either, except that I don't want to be the only one taking the lead. I see nothing wrong with me doing some things and him doing some things, but not JUST me having to figure it all out. I've been reading various forums and in various online groups for 3 years and see a LOT of issues crop up. I'm not worried about that, but I'm realistic about it. I don't see us doing major electrical/engine/plumbing/etc overhauls, but I do think we should be able to work together to figure out some basics. Even he would agree with that. And you're correct that our pockets are not overly deep, though we've budgeted well for this journey. So when this is the case, my question was--how has this played out over time for those who have experienced it? How do you handle a difference in wanting or not wanting to give minor repairs a try? Is it just a recipe for resentment?

I'm not worried about the smaller space. We're very happy in a smaller house, and we've enjoyed time in an RV before, though obviously not for such a long period of time. We're looking at 36ft, older diesel pusher, ideally with many of the kinks worked out, but with the understanding that stuff crops up all the time. We'll be absolutely fine with the experience in general, it's just this issue of having to buckle down and figure things out that has me worried. Some things in the house can wait, but I haven't had a dryer for 2 weeks now, so that does feel like at least somewhat of a priority. I was able to change the electrical cord easily enough, but the vent hookup for some reason has just beaten me. I've been working on it for days, I know it's so simple a child could do it, but something I'm doing isn't right, though I cannot for the life of me imagine what, or figure it out. Two heads are usually better than one (they were when he hung one doorknob upside down and the other backwards...bless his heart!) and I could really use that set of fresh eyes on it. Instead, we now have someone coming to literally tighten a clamp down (for $80). That is simply not sustainable when we could be working together toward a solution.

We use i/d diet, which is by prescription. It's available fairly widely, as long as you can get the vet to verify the dog needs it. Might be a Lab thing. I'm not sure!

We've just downsized from a 5 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom, we have no mortgage, and we now have the funds to buy the RV outright, but we haven't done so yet. We had our former house built, and there was very little that ever needed doing. We had a pool service, lawn service, etc, so there was next to nothing we had to do. Now we're in a home built in 1995 that's in great shape BUT with some things that do need tending to. That's why I'm noticing it now.

We've worked together for nearly 20 years, and normally our individual strengths make us a fantastic team. We're rarely apart, and we prefer it that way. Along with being husband and wife, we are truly best friends. The RV thing is a mutual dream, and when I've been concerned about if we can make it happen or not, he's been the voice that insists we can. It's this one thing...this feeling that if a problem doesn't have a quick, simple solution, or if the solution doesn't work straight away, all the toys get thrown out of the pram and we'll have to throw money at it to solve the problem. We have talked, and just did again, and he's absolutely certain everything will be fine. I'm not so sure. I grew up with parents who did a huge amount of work on houses and gardens, and he did not have that experience. I think I have a more worldly view of plowing ahead to get things done. He's used to calling someone in. Our bank account just won't allow that now.

My husband and I had big plans to downsize our house, have no mortgage, buy a used RV, and hit the road for a year. In the process of moving into our new home these past 2 weeks, I've noticed a...shall we say, reluctance...on the part of my husband to find a way to fix things we've never had to fix before. And now I'm worried. He did replace all the locks on the doors, after much drama, trial, and error, and I give him full credit for that. He did a terrific job and I was enthusiastically proud of him. I replaced the 4-prong cord on our dryer for a 3 prong cord that fit the outlet, which took all my courage and some helpful tutorials, but when it comes to other small jobs (not major electrical, engine, plumbing, etc) it seems like he wants someone to come in and do them and I want to at least give it a try first. We're not rich. If I fail (which I sometimes do), at least I tried. I have deep concerns that this is going to be a major issue if we do the RV trip. I'm worried that I'm going to end up tackling things alone instead of working toward solution together when it's something neither of us knows how to do, and I fear I'll end up angry and resentful. For the past 3 years I've been the one doing all the research on how to handle RV issues, so I think I'll be assumed to be the one to get things done on my own. He's very enthusiastic about the trip, but perhaps not thinking so much about the realities of maintenance. Has anyone else gone through this? How have your handled it? Is it a dream-killer? I'm honestly not sure we should go through with the plan now.

As of 11:40pm Monday, it's still stalled over Freeport. In theory, when it moves again (expected at some point Tuesday morning) it could wobble west before heading north or it could head north. Point, being, it hasn't headed north YET. Fort Wilderness at Walt Disney World will close by 3pm tomorrow. Here's hoping all RVers have found safety NOT on the coast in Georgia, the Carolinas or Florida.

We live in Orlando, and as far as we know it HASN'T made the northern turn yet. It wobbled north, but it's still very much heading our way. If you can get out, at least to the Gulf side, now's the time to do it. We're definitely not out of the woods yet, and it looks like the coast will get some level of strong winds and rain, if not a Cat 1 or 2. We're already under a Tropical Storm Warning as far inland as Orlando. We should know more by this evening, but as of 4:45pm on Monday, it has NOT yet turned north. We could definitely feel a direct impact. We're not panicking in central Florida. We've been through this before. But we're hunkering down, and starting to see stray bands of heavy rain pushed ahead of the hurricane.

Fabulous! Wishing you safe and happy travels!

Wonderful! Happy travels!

Orlando has been hotter than normal, but we're getting our typical afternoon thunderstorms, which are helping. Stay safe, and drink a lot of water!

Consider reading ads for RVs that are near you, and choosing a handful that sound fantastic. Then go see them in person. The way they appear in an ad and the way they appear in real life are very different things. I would not buy an item that expensive and that notorious for having 'hidden issues' without spending time in it first, with a checklist in hand. Then, I'd have the one I was most sure about inspected by a professional. I suspect it could save a LOT of financial pain.