Medical Alert providers

[NDBirdman]

Question for those that have loved ones that have started falling, breaking bones but insist on being independent.  My mom first fell and did a face plant in a parking lot last fall.  Not much damage other than seriously bruised up face/hands.   A few short months back, she tripped over a small crack on concrete, fell and broke her hip.  She laid for a while before help showed up, kids all at school or work so she was alone a bit.  Now, after a partial hip replacement, she trips on her own cane and goes down again.  Laid/crawled for 2 hours before she was able to crawl a phone to call for help, was not carrying her cell phone, now has a broken arm.  We are getting seriously worried about her now.  She refuses to go to a nursing home, won't leave where she is.  We live almost 1,000 miles away so we can't check on her hourly and she won't move here.  We did manage to get her into an assisted living home but after one hour, she walked out and said not going to happen.  She still has most her facilities so can't force her to go anywhere.  We could hire someone to stay with her during the day but she won't have it, does not need/want a.... baby sitter.  My niece and her hubby and 3 kids live with her, or should say she lives in their house now so she's only alone when the kids are in school, both adults have day jobs.  We want her to maintain her independence but something has to be done without treating her like a 3-yr old.

Anywayz, I have been looking at Life Alert (not very impressed with them), Mobil Help and Mobil Guardian.  Does anyone use one of these or experience with loved ones using one?  Any strong suggestions one way or another for an alert system?  Definitely want one with fall detection since she does not seen able to stay on her feet. 

We (the children) are open to any/all suggestions.

 

[SWharton]

You might want to contact the local hospital. I didn't pay much attention but I believe ours had some sort of a support arm for these situations. They might be able to give you guidance that is more locally oriented.

[sandsys]

Our clinic has senior support with social services that would also advise in this situation. Might her doctor offer something like that? They obviously know there's a need but she might not tell you they offered. Otherwise could you get her some sort of fanny pack or something she would wear to keep her phone with her? When I had my knees replaced I hung a bag with my phone from my walker while recovering. Also ask her doctor about testing her thyroid--that's what caused Dave's dad to fall but no one knew that was a problem until he was hospitalized for falls and they checked it.

Linda

[packnrat]

a cell phone is a best as you can get.

they have gps. and she can talk to the operator.

and everyone else she wants to talk to.

but she must charge it. and keep it on her person.

all of the “life alerts” are the same deal. must keep with you, charge them. but you can not talk to anyone. O and you pay a service fee, and all the taxes.  they can only contact the service provider. who then must call 911 for her.

 

[Kirk W]

14 hours ago, NDBirdman said:

We want her to maintain her independence but something has to be done without treating her like a 3-yr old.

There is the problem in a nutshell. I understand the delima as I had to deal with a very similar situation a few years back. If she doesn't carry her cell phone, as you sure that she would carry an alert device with her? You can check the latest Consumer Advocate article from this link. I hope that this works out for you as you may have to make the decision for her, as I was forced to do when my mother was no longer safe living alone. If you are a member of Consumer Reports you can read their article from this link. The two articles do not completely agree with these being the five top rated systems from Consumer Reports in order, in case you are not a member.

Bay Alarm

Great Call

Life Alert

Life Station

Medocal Alert

Edited August 25, 2019 by Kirk W

[FL-JOE]

We are starting to have similar concerns with my 90 year old mother.  She is very independent and suborn.  One fall which was in her own apartment.  She could reach her cell phone and it just happened to be on a day when we were in the area and on our way to pick her up.

My sister, who lives in the next State over, found a really nice used walker and we convinced her to try it.  Turns out she likes using it, so for right now we are hoping she can stay in her own apartment.  

Now to convince her to give her car up!

Edited August 25, 2019 by FL-JOE

[Twotoes]

A cell phone is a good idea if she keeps it charged and on her person, but if her fall renders her unconscious she won’t be able to call. The life alert, or other such device, will alert but most have to be activated by a button I believe, so if unconscious, same as a cell phone. I think there are some brands that automatically alert when on the ground, not sure. As stated in other posts, contact her Dr for advise.  If the situation worsens and she is unable to take of herself but still insists to not go to an assisted living home you may have to petition the court for a guardianship of the person. But is she continues to walk out of the facility then you will have to hire a home health aid to assist. 

[NDBirdman]

Good ideas.  My sis just brought something up.  What exactly are those iphone watches capable of and the range?  Could they are are they capable of hitting/dialing 911?

 

[Chalkie]

9 hours ago, FL-JOE said:

Now to convince her to give her car up!

We had that problem with the DW's mother. Driver License renewal solved that when she could not pass the vision test. Every state is different though on renewals for the elderly. Licence renewal by state

[FL-JOE]

14 hours ago, Chalkie said:

We had that problem with the DW's mother. Driver License renewal solved that when she could not pass the vision test. Every state is different though on renewals for the elderly. Licence renewal by state

We may luck out in that regard.  She had just renewed prior to moving from Florida to Illinois, so her Florida DL is good until around 2022 or so.  Since she will be forced to change her registration/insurance over in another couple months she will have to go for the Illinois DL.  We found out she will have to take the written, eye exam, and even the behind the wheel portion.  Unless the inspector is also 90 years old there is no way she can pass.

[sandsys]

6 hours ago, FL-JOE said:

Unless the inspector is also 90 years old there is no way she can pass.

Don't be so sure of that. When Dave's dad had a stroke we sent him for driving evaluation to a facility that specializes in handicapped people. They required he modify his turn signal to be operable from the right side of the wheel and to install what we knew as a suicide knob to facilitate turning corners but they also said his reaction time was slow. As in he got to the middle of an intersection before coming to a stop. Yet they allowed him to keep his driving license. And when he traded that car in he didn't have the modifications put on the new one. We were all so glad when he finally gave up his keys.

Linda

[FL-JOE]

We have an examining station in the next county over that is well known for passing elderly drivers.  It is a small county and a small office.  The city she lives in has a much larger office that goes more "by the book".  I am hoping she ends up going there.  

One encouraging sign is that her and her girlfriend go out for lunch a couple times a week.  These two have been friends since they were teenagers.  We thought they were taking turns driving, but it turns out when it is Mom's turn to drive she has her friend just drive her car for her.  She told us that her friend knows the streets better and it is just easier.  

[Kirk W]

Sometimes the situation requires that the children take responsibility for their parents, their safety and the safety of others who share the roads with them. When we realized that my mother had reached that time we resolved it by my sister borrowing mother's car and just never got around to returning it. In her case it was a combination of not being a safe driver any longer and also her potential to get lost. My dad set an example for all of us as he had a very minor accident at low speed and realized that he had reached the time to stop driving. He sold his truck and returned his driving license. I hope to follow dad's example. 

[millertime]

Guardianship is a good idea...even better is DPOA legal/finances, DPOA medical AND advanced directives. As a nurse, I am amazed at the number of elderly people that DO NOT have these documents in place BEFORE they are needed. All these forms are available from your state Attorney General free and do not require that you hire an attorney to complete...just witnesses. If you have an aging parent or family member please take the time to sit down with them and complete this...chances are you will need it.

Driving is another matter. I have a 96 yr old WWII vet Dad who is very good. He is independent without driving, mobile, walks 2 miles per day and is able to stay in his home with our support. His short term memory is very bad and he would get lost...or forget where he was going...or lose his way home. His Dr was instrumental in our taking the keys but he still calls/asks daily when he can drive again. It is a struggle every day...however, I sleep better at night knowing he is not capable of getting into a vehicle and putting both himself and others in danger.

Falls have not been an issue with him (thankfully) so I really cant comment on the alert devices. Those like us  with elderly parent(s) are very fortunate to still have them...taking good care of them is both a challenge and a privilege..

[chiefneon]

Howdy!

 I have you considered getting her a Apple Watch 4. I recently purchased one and it has a alert for when you fallen. If know one answers it calls 911. I accidentally found this out on a couple of occasions all ready. Thank a look at the link below.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/beta.washingtonpost.com/technology/2018/10/03/apple-watch-faces-its-toughest-challenge-yet-grandma/%3foutputType=amp

”Happy Trails”

Chiefneon

[sandsys]

8 hours ago, millertime said:

His short term memory is very bad and he would get lost...or forget where he was going...or lose his way home.

When Dave's mother's memory was getting worse we were appalled to learn she would drive alone to Duluth. We knew she might not remember why she was there. Then his father assured us that she remembered that if she drove down the hill she would come to the highway where a left turn would take her home. He never mentioned the second left turn she would need to take. She was a good driver so we didn't worry about her causing an accident but still the idea of her being out there was worrisome. I suspect Dave's father saw it as having a break from her constant puttering. Plus, it made her happy to be driving as it gave her a sense of doing something worthwhile even if she never actually went anywhere specific.

Along those lines there is a memory care center in Scandinavia that has a partial bus mockup in their lounge area. There's a guy who "drives" it and greets passengers and a couple ladies who "ride" that bus to go shopping. It keeps them all happily busy for hours.

Linda

Edited August 27, 2019 by sandsys

[2gypsies]

Here's a good review of 'Smart Watches as a Medical Alert'.  If planning to get one for your loved one you better do it early in life when they can absorb how to operate a 'smart watch'!  If it's anything like a smartphone, some older folks needing medical help could shut down the thinking on how to use it.  Perhaps that's why a simple medical alert button is better.

https://www.techenhancedlife.com/citizen-research/smartwatch-medical-alert

[RV_]

We had to deal with all of the above with our last remaining parents (hers) who we came off the road earlier than planned to help. Just before she died she spoke with us both, asking us to let my FIL have his dignity. It turned out that she'd been covering for him and his dementia issues for several years. He was still lucid a majority of the time so before we had to take over his affairs we had him designate his oldest, my wife as the holder of his DPOA. We also had his living will drawn up at the base legal office, he was also retired USAF as I am. 

He refused our offer of a computer when we were on the road and he was two years younger than I am now. He refused to even try to use a cell phone, never mind a smart phone.

Fortunately we were close by and my BIL next door. We took all his guns first with his approval because his "spells" (delusions and getting lost) were coming more often and scaring him. he could not figure his mail never mind his  banking. My wife took care of all that and we took his keys away a few of months before he deteriorated completely.

So I concur to get them any tech early so he/she/they can learn them before the confusion sets in. If they are at all willing. Some to many older folks are not. I think a good OFH (Old Folks Home) with activities like already mentioned is a best solution for some too. No matter what we do, we can't keep them lucid or change their ending. All we can do is be kind and be there for them.

Having gone through this with both our grandmothers, my mom, and her dad, one factor in our choice of Colorado for our now home is the legal physician assisted suicide. Having a choice doesn't mean we will make that choice. But it's comforting to know I can bail if my quality of life isn't. No matter what our beliefs or preferences, being the responsible party/ies is tough.

If they are willing and able, that Apple watch looks like a best product for an alert device so far.

My MIL's advice on her own deathbed turned out to be the only thing we DID have control over to an extent. We could actively respect their dignity, and let them be.

Edited August 27, 2019 by RV_

[RV_]

There are other options available today for monitoring. Amazon Echo devices can be used for "dropping in" to listen and see. Security cameras like the Wyze cameras with 1080p and ring systems that cost more can also be dropped in on live. Bathroom cameras can be set up to show only feet unless they fall. Thus allowing privacy and security. There is more tech that is ready for prime time.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=wyze+cameras&hvadid=77790502014588&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&tag=mh0b-20&ref=pd_sl_4zsxlfpkmi_e

https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=wyze community&epa=SEARCH_BOX

Of course the above require at least a nominal Internet connection and equipment for that.

 

Edited August 28, 2019 by RV_

[filthy-beast]

Do you have any techy type people in the family?  Before my dad passed, I installed a home automation system with motion sensors and door sensors.  It was programed to alert me if he didn't leave his room in the morning, if he didn't open the cabinet his meds were in etc..

We also installed Amazon Echo dots in every room so he could just yell, Alexa call son.

 

[NDBirdman]

We've been going round and round on solutions/help ideas.  We even looked at elderly day care but mom said hell no, but it is pretty much cost prohibitive.  No one there is very tech savy, including me.  We have read, discussed about everything mentioned and lots more found on the net.  I think we have (almost) come to the conclusion of a medical alert pendant and having a neighbor, who is a nurse, willing to keep an eye on her, works swing shift, drop in on her a couple times a day until she is up and going again.  I have offered my house to her since for now I'm here pretty much 24/7 and can keep her company/keep an eye on her but she says nope, to darn cold up there, not going to happen.  I think pendant and neighbor it is.

Thanks for all the offers ya'll!  When I go visit in a couple months, I may check into also putting up a couple cameras connected to the internet, the have the house wired with a wifi.  Those can have a password so no one but us can view, right?