Anxious about pulling the trigger. . . AGAIN!

[rockndownunder]

Howdy all.

We hit the road an become full timer Rve's in 1999. Just after a Workamping gig in 2012, due to my accelerated arthritic disk disease, we decided to hang up the keys settling in an area we fell in love with. Fast forward 7 years. Since that time we've become involved within our community volunteering many hours of our time. For the past 3 years, we've become seasoned community radio broadcasters that have achieved a syndicated (no $$$)radio show heard in several countries as well as many area's in the states. Long story short (not to bore anyone). I'm a young thinking 71 years old. My better half is a younger thinking 66. Two years ago we became Vegan, changing a good eating lifestyle to something better. IMO  My arthritis still haunts me everyday, but NOT like it did in the past. I feel as though we 'hung up the keys' to fast!  We're also living month to month on our SS checks in a mobile home park. We DO own our double wide 1250 Sq.Ft. home but, the lot rent increases every year. Although we have full coverage home owners insurance, we're located in North California. (Home of forest fires) Some area's have had their insurance doubled or worst case, dropped. Trying to keep this post short is difficult I see. We have been re-thinking about selling our mobile to purchase an RV suitable to get back to our past full time lifestyle. I'm a bus nut that owned every style RV except for the style of bus I know would suit us. (40' MCI) . My issue is my better half never driving something this big. (Including toad). I dread thinking about her being on her own if I croak on the road.  I guess I'm looking for input from some (older folk) that may have gone through this. Sorry to bore y'all. Thanks for reading my concern. gvroots@hotmail.com  Bob

[SWharton]

 

To alleviate some of the concerns there are RV Driving Schools that will teach her how to drive the rig and then you need to let her drive the rig without criticizing her constantly. Split the driving each day. This seems to be your biggest concern. Your arthritis might be better if you get into a less humid area also. Good luck.

[Johnson9029]

We have been full timing for 12 years. 

When we started my DH knew I would have to do the driving and I have. 

She will have to not be intimidated...after you get over the initial Wow this thing is big!! Just know where it sits on the road and remember you have a tail swing... and don’t turn corners like you do in a car....

My DH was a great teacher and we have been in some very difficult places.

She May feel more confident going to a driving school to get the basics.  

DH has eye problems so it was our choice to do it  this way and we have never had any regrets.

We also have a grandson that could fly and take over if something happened to me. That is our back -up😁

Our rig is 40 ft with a tag.

My DH is pushing 79 and myself 77 and he has had diabetes since he was 27 and insulin dependent since 37. He has had cancer and kidney out,  myasthenia Gravis, stints and just recently open heart surgery... but have not let it slow us down. We still travel where we want to go and love the life style. So happy with our choice to full time. 

 

[Kirk W]

There are several good answers here already, but there are many couples on the road which only  1 of them drive. I do agree that the ideal is for both people to be able to drive the RV but it is hardly a requirement. We have two friends where only the wife drives. In one case it is the husband has lost his sight and the other the husband has health issues that prevent his driving. We also have friends in a fifth wheel because she does drive the truck but refuses to tow the trailer. None of these couples have had problems from the issue and you too can find a way around this if you need to do so. 

[SWharton]

I remember reading someplace that Coachnet(or maybe FMCA) has an emergency driver service as part of their insurance.

[Big Greg]

We are both 72, moderately healthy, and have been full time travelers almost 12 years.  We are coming off the road and settling down in a 55+ community.  The RV park we are wintering in until the house is ready has had one 18 month full timer die of an aneurism last week.  His wife has hired someone to drive their new 45' MH back to their home.  At our age we can't take our health for granted.....or finances if invested in the stock market.  My question to you is do you have an exit plan if you return to the road?  I can understand your desire to get back on the road but in your case I'd need a good exit plan considering age and finances.     Greg

[LiveWorkDream]

Wow you sound like super cool people! Congratulations on this new phase in your life, how exciting!

I cannot give you the perspective of someone your age, but being on the road for 12 years and meeting lots of people I can tell you that there are workarounds to any challenges that come up. For example, we belong to MASA (life flight services) that as part of their plan offer an emergency driver to get your rig where it needs to be if one of you gets sick. I hope we never need it, but since I'm not the 5th wheel driver in our relationship, I'm comforted knowing it's there.

As for your mobile home, only you can decide on what to do. But I know that when we sold our mountain cabin it was sad, but also liberating. I'm so glad we did it, and I don't need to worry about it burning up in a fire. It was also nice not being worried about it while we were on the road and not actually there (which was rare).

What's your radio show called? I'd love to listen! You can still do that show from the road!

 

[RV_]

Bob,

You said:

" My issue is my better half never driving something this big. (Including toad). I dread thinking about her being on her own if I croak on the road.  I guess I'm looking for input from some (older folk) that may have gone through this. Sorry to bore y'all. Thanks for reading my concern. gvroots@hotmail.com  Bob "

Bob, is this your issue or hers? Ask her if you haven't already. It seems to me that you haven't owned that one yet either so both of you will be learning the fine points and quirks of driving it.

My 2 year younger brother died at 56 in 2010. Dropped dead of a heart attack after climbing the stairs to go to bed. Seems to me it is never too early to just do it!

Good luck guys!

[rockndownunder]

14 hours ago, Johnson9029 said:

We have been full timing for 12 years. 

When we started my DH knew I would have to do the driving and I have. 

She will have to not be intimidated...after you get over the initial Wow this thing is big!! Just know where it sits on the road and remember you have a tail swing... and don’t turn corners like you do in a car....

My DH was a great teacher and we have been in some very difficult places.

She May feel more confident going to a driving school to get the basics.  

DH has eye problems so it was our choice to do it  this way and we have never had any regrets.

We also have a grandson that could fly and take over if something happened to me. That is our back -up😁

Our rig is 40 ft with a tag.

My DH is pushing 79 and myself 77 and he has had diabetes since he was 27 and insulin dependent since 37. He has had cancer and kidney out,  myasthenia Gravis, stints and just recently open heart surgery... but have not let it slow us down. We still travel where we want to go and love the life style. So happy with our choice to full time. 

 

Personally, I have NO issue and can drive anything no matter the length. My ONLY issue is crossing over (unexpectedly)and leaving my best friend to handle this hassle on her own. . . Before we hung up the keys 6 years ago. . .

[rockndownunder]

11 hours ago, Big Greg said:

We are both 72, moderately healthy, and have been full time travelers almost 12 years.  We are coming off the road and settling down in a 55+ community.  The RV park we are wintering in until the house is ready has had one 18 month full timer die of an aneurism last week.  His wife has hired someone to drive their new 45' MH back to their home.  At our age we can't take our health for granted.....or finances if invested in the stock market.  My question to you is do you have an exit plan if you return to the road?  I can understand your desire to get back on the road but in your case I'd need a good exit plan considering age and finances.     Greg

Unfortunately, our exit plan is being being used. . .Our RV will be purchased by the money we sell our place at. The only exit plan is to pass over without leaving my better half with stress. If she happened to go before my time, there is no issue on my end.  Retire NY police, Vietnam veteran. I can have a good life living in a refrigerator box. . .

 

[rockndownunder]

9 hours ago, LiveWorkDream said:

Wow you sound like super cool people! Congratulations on this new phase in your life, how exciting!

I cannot give you the perspective of someone your age, but being on the road for 12 years and meeting lots of people I can tell you that there are workarounds to any challenges that come up. For example, we belong to MASA (life flight services) that as part of their plan offer an emergency driver to get your rig where it needs to be if one of you gets sick. I hope we never need it, but since I'm not the 5th wheel driver in our relationship, I'm comforted knowing it's there.

As for your mobile home, only you can decide on what to do. But I know that when we sold our mountain cabin it was sad, but also liberating. I'm so glad we did it, and I don't need to worry about it burning up in a fire. It was also nice not being worried about it while we were on the road and not actually there (which was rare).

What's your radio show called? I'd love to listen! You can still do that show from the road!

 

https://www.facebook.com/rockn.downunder

 

[rockndownunder]

9 hours ago, LiveWorkDream said:

Wow you sound like super cool people! Congratulations on this new phase in your life, how exciting!

I cannot give you the perspective of someone your age, but being on the road for 12 years and meeting lots of people I can tell you that there are workarounds to any challenges that come up. For example, we belong to MASA (life flight services) that as part of their plan offer an emergency driver to get your rig where it needs to be if one of you gets sick. I hope we never need it, but since I'm not the 5th wheel driver in our relationship, I'm comforted knowing it's there.

As for your mobile home, only you can decide on what to do. But I know that when we sold our mountain cabin it was sad, but also liberating. I'm so glad we did it, and I don't need to worry about it burning up in a fire. It was also nice not being worried about it while we were on the road and not actually there (which was rare).

What's your radio show called? I'd love to listen! You can still do that show from the road!

 

 

[rockndownunder]

2 hours ago, RV_ said:

Bob,

You said:

" My issue is my better half never driving something this big. (Including toad). I dread thinking about her being on her own if I croak on the road.  I guess I'm looking for input from some (older folk) that may have gone through this. Sorry to bore y'all. Thanks for reading my concern. gvroots@hotmail.com  Bob "

Bob, is this your issue or hers? Ask her if you haven't already. It seems to me that you haven't owned that one yet either so both of you will be learning the fine points and quirks of driving it.

My 2 year younger brother died at 56 in 2010. Dropped dead of a heart attack after climbing the stairs to go to bed. Seems to me it is never too early to just do it!

Good luck guys!

Annie has been a US Citizen from NZ for several  years. As much as I have supported here in her driving our Lexus, she is hesitant. More that likely spoiled. Shhh I never said that!  My issue isn't that she would be able to drive her way out of a bad situation with a car.  It would be trying to figure out what to so after that.  No home base etc. . . I guess this comes from care giving my Dad. The old man left my Mom in 'holding the bag'!

[scouserl41]

I'm not selling anything but my wife will not drive the coach, period. I was worried about the same issues you are. We discovered SkyMed which guarantees to get the coach and everyone in it to a designated "Home" spot in case of medical emergency.

It took away a major worry for us.

They aren't the only service like that but it's the one we have experience of.

Hope that helps.

BnB

[Kirk W]

10 hours ago, rockndownunder said:

It would be trying to figure out what to so after that.  No home base etc. . . I guess this comes from care giving my Dad. The old man left my Mom in 'holding the bag'!

If you are discussing the future now she most definitely will not be in the position of your mom. Even though my dad did plan for his passing (he was 8 years older), my mother suffered dementia and still had to have my help to manage things after his passing. We had neighbors/friends who were the same age but he had major health issues while she had none so they made all kinds of preparations for his passing, yet she experienced an aneurysm one evening and was gone in 3 days, leaving Lowell alone for his last years. The only thing that you can do is to discuss the issues and have some ideas in mind. If she isn't concerned, you may be making too much of the potential problem. We spent 12 years on the road when Pam's health became a problem and caused us to change to part-time RV travels. Now we are past our mid 70's and her health is better than it was back then, but nothing slows our increasing age so we have begun to consider what comes next once more. Considering the future when one of you has to go on alone is a good thing, but allowing that possibility to prevent you from enjoying your life today is not. Just discuss the issues she may have now, and do not forget to consider what you will do if she should pass first, then get on with enjoying what you have today!

[RV_]

You've gotten great answers here. If she does not want to drive that's wonderful, she does not have to drive.

 

 

 

[sandsys]

Dave prefers to drive and I prefer not to which means my driving skills are probably deteriorating. We are OK with that.

Dave's bucket list is instructions on how to do the many things that will need to be done if he is first to kick the bucket. In the meantime I ignore our daily finances and we are OK with that, too.

We did provide financial information and access to his sister since we all know she will be the one doing all that if Dave can't. We also made her our health care proxy. That, plus having moved into a community where home health assistance is available in our apartment should we need that and where the care center is at the far end of this extensive building's hallway makes us feel that we can deal with whatever life hands us.

I expect the hardest part for me will be missing Dave's companionship. I know how hard it was for me when I went off as a solo snowbird and the weather wouldn't let me get back to Dave as quickly as I wanted to do so.

Linda Sand

[2gypsies]

It seems your wife won't even drive a car.  Does she even have a driver's license?  You'd better work on the car first before deciding anything. If you're ill how would she even get groceries, etc.? 

We strongly feel that both should be able to drive the RV and to do it regularly.... not just to learn and say "if needed, I could do it".  You need to keep it fresh in your mind.  We took turns every trip.

If you buy into a program such as SkyMed or Masa be sure to read the fine print. Some programs will only take you to the nearest medical facility..... not to anywhere you want.

There are even more simple medical issues that could sideline you such as general illness, a broken arm/leg, minor surgery.  How will you wife get you to medical appts or errands if she won't drive a car?

[Kirk W]

43 minutes ago, 2gypsies said:

We strongly feel that both should be able to drive the RV and to do it regularly..

There is more than one way to do things correctly. If the world all were to agree with you our son's family would not be able to travel the highways since our daughter (by marriage) is totally blind and her guide dog just isn't that good.  😁

[kb0zke]

The previous owners of our coach started out with him doing all of the driving. Shortly into their stewardship he had some severe medical issues that pretty much eliminated his driving. She took over. Eventually his health returned enough that he could drive again, but she wouldn't let go of the steering wheel!

That said, many groups have arrangements to get the RV back home or wherever it needs to go. Everyone ought to be members of the owners forum for their chosen brand. Not only will you get great advice on issues specific to your coach but you may also have volunteer drivers should there be an emergency situation. Depending on where you are, there may also be places where you can park the coach while someone is in the hospital, often at no cost to you.

[noteven]

If I work it right the cheque to the undertaker should bounce.

[rockndownunder]

On 12/21/2018 at 4:06 AM, scouserl41 said:

I'm not selling anything but my wife will not drive the coach, period. I was worried about the same issues you are. We discovered SkyMed which guarantees to get the coach and everyone in it to a designated "Home" spot in case of medical emergency.

It took away a major worry for us.

They aren't the only service like that but it's the one we have experience of.

Hope that helps.

BnB

Do know about that. Unfortunately,  that is NOT in our budget!

[rockndownunder]

On 12/20/2018 at 10:37 AM, LiveWorkDream said:

Wow you sound like super cool people! Congratulations on this new phase in your life, how exciting!

I cannot give you the perspective of someone your age, but being on the road for 12 years and meeting lots of people I can tell you that there are workarounds to any challenges that come up. For example, we belong to MASA (life flight services) that as part of their plan offer an emergency driver to get your rig where it needs to be if one of you gets sick. I hope we never need it, but since I'm not the 5th wheel driver in our relationship, I'm comforted knowing it's there.

As for your mobile home, only you can decide on what to do. But I know that when we sold our mountain cabin it was sad, but also liberating. I'm so glad we did it, and I don't need to worry about it burning up in a fire. It was also nice not being worried about it while we were on the road and not actually there (which was rare).

What's your radio show called? I'd love to listen! You can still do that show from the road!

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