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The Doughboy Dies

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The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, he was 72. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but later in life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting his dough on half baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered to be a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John and Jane Dough, plus one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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