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Solo RVers - somewhat somber post - be aware


eddie1261

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At the time I finally hit the road, I will be approaching 67. While I am not UNhealthy, I could be MORE healthy, as I am a fairly well controlled diabetic. I would like to hit 80, but that may not be all that realistic, and I am a person who believes in living in reality. So, if I make it to 75 or so, I will have lived a full, happy, interesting life in which I wore many work hats and had a lot of fun. And to be honest, once my dog leaves me, everything after that will have a moot feel to it anyway. 

So, you solo travelers, what kind of preparation have you made? How do those preparations differ from when you lived in a house?

Right now, living in a house, I have a piece of paper on my fridge door with instructions for first responders. It has the name and phone number of the executor named in my will and VERY specific instructions to keep calling and leaving messages until there is a response. It also specifies that any dog I may have with me is not to go to a city shelter for any reason, because that executor was selected for a very specific reason. SHE has instructions from me as to where she will find my will, my property deeds, my car titles, etc. There isn't a whole lot to leave, and nobody to leave it to, and my will stipulates that everything I own is to be sold and any proceeds go to the animal shelter where I got my last 3 dogs. They gave me some of the best companionship I could ever have, and it's the right thing to do that I pay them back in some small way. I also have that same info and those documents on a flash drive hanging from my mirror, and another on my keychain, so if the end should come due to a car crash or any kind of traumatic event, the first responders know what to do. (IF they are smart enough to figure out that they should look at the flash drive!)

Now, to die while parked along a river in New Mexico, that would be a very different set of circumstances, and I don't know how that would play out. God forbid that happens while I still have my dog and there is nobody there to feed her and give her water. To avoid that part of it, whenever I settle in for the day, I will email my location to that executor, and her instructions include "If you don't hear anything from me at the worst every other day, send help to the last place you knew me to be at." She has pictures of the RV and license plates so I would be easy to find.

Talking about this seems to weird a lot of people out, but I came to grips with mortality a long time ago. I think if you have been in a war zone you have a different appreciation for knowing that your life can end at any moment. I am "only" 66 now, but I go past one hand when I count friends I have lost already.

What kind of plans do you have, and can you suggest something that I might be missing?

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EDDIE:  From your post, I can only conclude that, well you seem to be obcessed with death and your "final arrangements ".  Go out (pun intended) enjoying your remaining years.   Join one of Escapees many BOFs, or other purpose oriented groups.  Enjoy your travels, stay useful to give yourself purpose.  I am significantly older than you and I remain active every day. Eleven years ago this month I lost my left leg. I really don't  know where it is . . . but I don't care. We all have physical challenges of one sort or another. Now, get out there and LIVE! As always, oRV

oRV

75065 Lifetime Member

2010 Phaeton 40 QTH

2014 Honda CR-V Toad

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Add a ICE to your phone.
http://www.wikihow.com/Add-ICE-to-Your-Cell-Phone

I have traveled solo since 1999(retired at 61) and my son knows where I am at all the time.
And also many of my friends also. After ever move they get a email with my location.

All funeral expense's have been prepaid, lot and a headstone already there.
I have no idea where I will be when the end comes. And there is nothing I can do about it.
But I don't worry about what happens after, as it won't be my problem.

Enjoy your retirement.


 

 

Full Time since Oct. 1999
99 Discovery 34Q DP | ISB
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18 minutes ago, Biker56 said:

Add a ICE to your phone.

This one comes up from time to time and while it is a good idea to have in your phone contacts list, if you do I would spell out "In Case of Emergency" just to make sure. Better yet, there are now several app's for phones that should be quite clearly emergency information, so consider getting one of them. A search of Google will bring up a list of them. 

You are wise to consider this issue and even we who travel in pairs should do that same thing as when we share a vehicle things can happen to both at the same time and all too often does, especially for those of us who are late in life. Like you, we try to anticipate care for our dog if something should happen to us. One suggestion that I have for you is to also consider a backup person for the executor that you have named as life is just as fragile for that person as it is for you. I have known too many people who planned ahead, knowing that someone else would outlive them, only to have that other person pass first. 

Good travelin !...............Kirk

Full-time 11+ years...... Now seasonal travelers.
Kirk & Pam's Great RV Adventure

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In reference to ICE or In Case Of Emergency......a few years back I was in a bad motorcycle accident that resulted in 2 1/2 months in the hospital, ten surgeries, etc. etc.  The second day I was stableized and heavily medicated when the social worker came in to ask who they could call for me.

I explained that my wife and my daughter are in my phone under "ICE" and "WIFE" and "Daughter" and asked why they hadn't been contacted already?  I was told that due to privacy laws first responders can not go through your phone unless you're deceased.

You've got to be kidding me!

2017 Grand Design Momentum 376TH pulled by a 2014 Ford F-350 Lariat, FX-4, dually, longbed

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eddie1261

Five years ago I traveled alone for an extended time and did many of the same things you are doing and I put the plans on my camper visor as "Emergency Papers" . I never needed it which is the real plan. Also and I think everyone should do this (and I'm guilty of not have it updated) that is have a plan who you would contact should there be some nature disaster took all communications down. In your case what if your executor's communication is out of service what is the next option or vica-versa

Clay & Marcie Too old to play in the snow

Diesel pusher and previously 2 FW and small Class C

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That packet you have on your home refrigerator can move to your RV's refrigerator. EMTs are trained to look there. We now live in a retirement community and have been told emergency personnel are always happy to find a POLST on the fridge so they know what the patients wants.

Linda Sand

ps. A POLST is a Physician's Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment which you and your doctor fill out together. It indicates whether or not you want things like CPR and feeding tubes. It gives the EMTs permission to treat you as you would want to be treated.

Blog: http://sandcastle.sandsys.org/

Former Rigs: Liesure Travel van, Winnebago View 24H, Winnebago Journey 34Y, Sportsmobile Sprinter conversion van

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Regarding CPR ...keep in mind that the first 3 or 4 compressions usually break your sternum and ribcage so consider that. If you are in your 80s you probably wont survive CPR and if you do you have a lot of healing to do.

<p>....JIM and LINDA......2001 American Eagle 40 '.towing a GMC Sierra 1500 4X4 with RZR in the rear. 1999 JEEP Cherokee that we tow as well.

IT IS A CONTENTED MAN WHO CAN APPRECIATE THE SCENERY ALONG A DETOUR.

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This one comes up from time to time and while it is a good idea to have in your phone contacts list, if you do I would spell out "In Case of Emergency" just to make sure. Better yet, there are now several app's for phones that should be quite clearly emergency information, so consider getting one of them. A search of Google will bring up a list of them. 

On my iPhone for them to get in it. They either have to have my password or my finger print.
The link I gave above had you put the emergency info on the back of your phone.
Not on a app in it that they can't open. Don't you remember a while back the Police wanted to get in a iPhone and Apple wouldn't help them break the code to open it. :)

Or maybe they will look in my billfold for my drivers license info. If they pull it out they may see the card under it with emergence contacts.

Full Time since Oct. 1999
99 Discovery 34Q DP | ISB
Datastorm | VMSpc | Co-Pilot Live | Pressure Pro
2014 MKS Twin Turbo V6 365 HP Toad
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My iPhone requires a password. But on the password screen it says "emergency" in the lower left corner. If you click that you get another option to click that will bring you to a list of my emergency contacts. Mine are labeled as "spouse", "child" and "sister" along with their names and phone numbers so emergency personnel will know to whom they are talking. Those three people also have copies of my health directive naming them as people who can make decisions on my behalf should that be needed. It brings me much peace of mind knowing that is there.

Linda Sand

 

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58 minutes ago, MrSeas said:

My iPhone requires a password. But on the password screen it says "emergency" in the lower left corner. If you click that you get another option to click that will bring you to a list of my emergency contacts. Mine are labeled as "spouse", "child" and "sister" along with their names and phone numbers so emergency personnel will know to whom they are talking. Those three people also have copies of my health directive naming them as people who can make decisions on my behalf should that be needed. It brings me much peace of mind knowing that is there.

Linda Sand

 

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I haven't tried that "Emergency" thingy I thought maybe if you pressed that, the phone would go direct to 911 :)

Full Time since Oct. 1999
99 Discovery 34Q DP | ISB
Datastorm | VMSpc | Co-Pilot Live | Pressure Pro
2014 MKS Twin Turbo V6 365 HP Toad
369070033.jpg

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Although this isn't a topic that a lot of people like to discuss, it IS one that we all need to consider. Even those who are not full-timing can have an emergency in the campground. Having some emergency instructions clearly posted can really help the stranger (EMT or temporary neighbor) who finds you. Even a spouse who comes back from Wal-Mart and finds you sprawled out of the floor might not remember who to call first (besides 911).

David Lininger, kb0zke
1993 Foretravel U300 40' (sold)
2022 Grand Design Reflection 315RLTS

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The EMT who responds to the location is not there to look for information of who to contact or who is in your will. Their only purpose is to get you stable and transported to a hospital. It is the hospital staff who notify loved ones for you once you are in their care. i have been in several major accidents and EMTs never contacted anyone. It wasnt till the next day that the hospital finally got around to notiifing anyone.

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Fulltimer

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Leaving for 3 months on Sept 10. OP had a good message to all of us...dogs or no dogs. My dog is everything to us. I have prepaid and pre-arranged my final arrangements. Phone # is in my wallet. Need to get more specific arrangements in order regarding dog in case we both go at the same time. Thank you Eddie, you are a breath of fresh air with your honesty.

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Excellent "points to ponder" Eddie (and posters).

As a retired first responder from an urban municipality - I agree with the comments regarding what EMTs and Paramedics (usually) do -and don't do- regarding notification.

The emergency responders *will* make every attempt to *identify* the person - by checking for personal information at the location of the emergency, and pass that along to the hospital - but do not initiate or attempt communications with those on contact lists.

That includes request/s by a conscious patient who says, "Could you call my son or daughter," etc.  "We" would make sure the desired contact's   information would be available to the hospital, and inform the patient that the hospital will contact them.

If it involved a person who was deceased -  at the city where I was employed, the "notification" would be handled by the PD (and then coroner).

Obviously, "protocol" may/will vary by jurisdiction.

.

 

 

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Just a few remarks from the OP.

"I have a piece of paper on my fridge door with instructions for first responders."
That's likely not going to wash with first responders or medical care facilities. Unfortunately, Ohio does not yet have a POLST program. They do have living wills and DNR orders, so you can still get a lot of the benefits of a POLST, but it's good to remember that all of those orders must be signed by a doctor in order to be legal documents. Without it, notorized or not they will largely be ignored.

To note: The fridge is your best friend. Everyone has one and, as stated, first responders are trained to check there for medical directives.

Making your wishes known is a good start, but again, they don't mean anything unless you specifically name an "attorney-in-fact" in a health care power of attorney... and it's a great idea to have a "successor" named to your primary. (That doesn't mean it has to be an actual attorney... it's just a term used within the legal instrument.)

Even with a POLST (or whatever your state calls it), or even an advanced medical directive and/or a designated health care power of attorney, there is no guarantee they will be honored in all states.

The national POLST paradigm IS expanding, but only about half of U.S. states endorse it, nearly another half are developing their POLST programs (and may or may not endorse it... or possibly only "in part"), but there are still a few that outwardly do "not" endorse it. It's also important to remember that a POLST only addresses life sustaining treatment.

As for USB's. It's always a good idea to have backups of your important documents, but unless it is clearly marked as an e-med tag and on your actual person (like a necklace) no one is going to go looking for it and won't be of any benefit. For folks with pre-existing conditions, e-med tags may not actually be reviewed until your condition has been stabilized so the best option is still an old fashioned, engraved, med tag (on your person at all times). Further to note... standard OR e-med tags are for informational purposes to help determine how to approach treatment of your symptoms.

As for how things are done differently when traveling vs. stationary in a S&B... It does take a little different approach. When you're stationary you can have your health care directives put on file with your Dr., any care facility where you are likely to receive treatment, and in some states, basic information put on file with the 911 call center in your area. They can relay directives to first responders while en-route. When traveling, that's not a real solution... however... one often overlooked resource is to have copies of your health care directives sent to the patient representative of your insurance provider.

If you are in a state with advanced directives (aka. a living will), your state may have an advance directive registry you can file your documents with, or there is also the U.S. Living Will Registry. Some Dr.'s and hospitals will check the registries before providing care. But again, it's not a given.

"If you don't hear anything from me at the worst every other day..."
Check-in intervals are certainly a personal choice. Some things to consider though are the type of camping you plan to do, the areas you plan to travel in and the reliability of your AND their communications. Emails, cellular service, internet, voicemail systems are not 100%.

I agree that different folks approach their mortality in very different terms. I have a fairly detailed and redundant check-in system that has been developed over the years, but it's important to find what's "practical" and what works for you.

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"So, you solo travelers, what kind of preparation have you made? How do those preparations differ from when you lived in a house? "

"Talking about this seems to weird a lot of people out, but I came to grips with mortality a long time ago."

I've been a solo for more years than I care to remember. My adult kids sometimes ask why I'm still single 20 yrs after the divorce, my only reply is that I'm having too much fun to stop and play the dating game.

My death plans & preparation haven't changed from my sticks & bricks adrenalin junkie days to my fulltiming RV days, to my snow bird days to my off shore sailing days. I have a detailed will & trust agreement filed with my attorney & copies with my adult kids. I have emergency contact info on all my fridg's and in my wallet & phone. Other than making sure the kids get quick access to my assets & properties, I don't really care where I pass or who finds me or when they find me. I just hope its not at home sitting on my couch.

When I was in better health, I spent most of my non-working time climbing rock walls, climbing high altitude mountains, kayaking over waterfalls, jumping out of airplanes, hang gliding off mountains & cliffs, and repelling hundreds of feet down into unexplored caves. Folks always accused me of having a death wish. My response was No, I go out of my way to perform all these sports in the safest manner possible; and I have a Life wish. I retired (at 60) as soon as I thought I had enough invested to allow me to continue having fun until the end.

These days I still RV around the mountains in summer, and I sail my live aboard sailboat from Fl to the Bahamas and around the islands all winter, and my health is no longer perfect.. I don't have any concern about having a heart attack or stroke while I'm out there alone in the middle of the ocean. I would be more worried about having the attack while sitting on the couch, safe at home.  to each his own 

I don't think its weird to talk or think about it for planning purposes. But I think it would be a shame if you avoided doing what you love doing just because you're alone & not in perfect health.

Jim

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On 9/2/2017 at 4:58 PM, Biker56 said:

I haven't tried that "Emergency" thingy I thought maybe if you pressed that, the phone would go direct to 911 :)

No. But that same screen gives you a keypad that can be used to dial 911.

I'm lucky to have Dave who researches all this electronic stuff then tells me bits of it. :)

On 9/2/2017 at 6:04 PM, Twotoes said:

The EMT who responds to the location is not there to look for information of who to contact or who is in your will. Their only purpose is to get you stable and transported to a hospital. It is the hospital staff who notify loved ones for you once you are in their care. i have been in several major accidents and EMTs never contacted anyone. It wasnt till the next day that the hospital finally got around to notiifing anyone.

That's why it's important to have a POLST visibly posted. EMTs will look for that IF you are home when your event happens.

My driver's license just says I am a registered donor. I do have a business card visible in that wallet with the contact information on it including for my doctor but it won't help EMTs.

My Health Care Directive is also on file with my medical records. There is also a copy of it and my POLST on file with the front desk in this senior living complex. I'm hoping my wishes will be taken into account should the need ever arise. But, as in everything else in life, there are no guarantees.

Linda Sand

Blog: http://sandcastle.sandsys.org/

Former Rigs: Liesure Travel van, Winnebago View 24H, Winnebago Journey 34Y, Sportsmobile Sprinter conversion van

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On 9/2/2017 at 7:04 PM, Twotoes said:

The EMT who responds to the location is not there to look for information of who to contact or who is in your will. Their only purpose is to get you stable and transported to a hospital. It is the hospital staff who notify loved ones for you once you are in their care. i have been in several major accidents and EMTs never contacted anyone. It wasnt till the next day that the hospital finally got around to notiifing anyone.

I am only talking about what happens in the event that I am found dead. I am talking past 911. Like 912, or even 913..... I wouldn't want anybody to bother my executor for any reason other than my death when her part of the plan kicks in. Somehow this morphed into a discussion of non fatal incidents and illnesses. My people will know something is out of sorts when they don't see an email, get a tweet, see photos, a youtube video, or a blog post every day.

To be clear, even NOW living in a house I email my contact every morning. If she doesn't get my email, she knows to grab my house key and come and get my dog. Seriously, ALL that matters to me is my dog. 

As far as a phone being able to dial 911 if it's locked, if a paramedic is tending to you, HIS phone can dial 911. There can't be more than 19 people in the USA that don't have cell phones in 017. How does it help them contact your emergency contact after you die if your phone is locked? I have had a cell phone since 1991, and never used a password. I have nothing on my phone that the world can't see, and things that the world MUST see in the situation I started the discussion about. Again, this is about dying on the road, not becoming ill. Most if you have spouses and kids, so maybe I get that you are eager that they be notified, but I don't have anybody to tell anything to until I am dead, so it's a different circumstance. My whole goal in life has always been to not bother anybody. That's why I won't ask a friend to be my mail drop and such things. I'll take care of my own life. (As you can probably tell, I have gone my own way since age 18 and am not about to change now.) 

So, we have pretty much discussed this to death here. Thank you all for your input! As always, good to hear what others do so I can draw from other's experiences.

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59 minutes ago, eddie1261 said:

I am only talking about what happens in the event that I am found dead.

If that was your intent, it was very unclear in your original post when you were talking about leaving instructions for first responders, check-ins and only very late in your OP mentioned anything about actually being found dead while traveling and was, "...a very different set of circumstances". Implying that "that" discussion was a completely different subject than what you had been previously talking about.

If the only discussion is on post mortem preperations then it would be very little difference than if you resided in a S&B. The only document you would need would be a will and/or trust document filed within your domicile state and a contact number for your attorney/executor/trustee in your wallet next to your ID and on your fridge.

The USB backups would still be more for your own reference though as they are not considered a legally binding document and only enactable by the entity specifically named as executor/successor trustee.

Your dog... in the short term there really isn't much you can do. As far as I know... most states would remand any pets to the proper animal authority in their jurisdiction. It would be up to the executor/trustee to claim your pet and see to it's well being per your instructions at a later date.

About the only "real" difference... You might consider establishing a seperate bank account with discretionary funds that your executor/trustee would be a signatory on. That would allow them immediate access to monies needed to claim and transport your pet, property and remains as quickly as possible. If you are going through a legal firm, they may help you establish an escrow account. Some may require it.

All that being said... I'm only talking about a solo traveler with no other family or friends to rely on for such things.

I "will" say... daily or at the very least, every other day check-ins... or send help... while traveling can be a VERY tall order to fill.

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45 minutes ago, Yarome said:

Your dog... in the short term there really isn't much you can do. As far as I know... most states would remand any pets to the proper animal authority in their jurisdiction. It would be up to the executor/trustee to claim your pet and see to it's well being per your instructions at a later date.

About the only "real" difference... You might consider establishing a separate bank account with discretionary funds that your executor/trustee would be a signatory on. That would allow them immediate access to monies needed to claim and transport your pet, property and remains as quickly as possible.

Spot on Yarome. I have a savings account with her (my executor) name on it that is designated as a payable on death account. I am registered with an organization out of Oregon that upon notification will arrange to have my body sent to the nearest affiliated facility when my organs will be harvested, and then pay for the cremation of the rest. We have discussed this over dinner, where both she and her husband would fly out immediately to where I was when I passed and one can drive the RV back and the other can drive the car. Or they can hang out wherever that happens and try to make a quick sale. Much will depend on where it happens, but she is a lawyer so she knows what to do.

That instruction sheet on my fridge is quite detailed. She went through this with the passing of her mother and knows what needs to be there, and I followed her instruction carefully. She'd be smart enough to carry my "folder" with her if she needs to prove to anybody on the other end that she is indeed responsible for my succession planning, but that thumb drive is the backup and it contains every document she has in the folder.

I'd love for all this to be WELL into the future, but it is inevitable. I didn't think the morning of Jan 25th 2013 that I would almost die in a car crash on the way home at 5:45 that afternoon. Or the way I like to say it, it wasn't raining when Noah started building the ark.

As always, your input was right on target..

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