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rm.w/aview

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  1. ^^^ 😃 more arts & crafts with wood...
  2. There's a new installation in Other Topics, that last for a while
  3. A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie and decides to try it out after supper. He asks his son what he did that afternoon and the boy says, "I was doing some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "OK, OK, I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" "Toy Story", the son says, and the robot slaps him. "OK, OK, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What?!? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother.
  4. there's a new installation in Other Topics
  5. She was concerned that her little doggie, a Schnauzer, was going deaf as it wasn't responding to noise or calls as it once did, so she took it to the vet for an exam. What the vet discovered was that the dog's ears had far to much doggie hair in them. After a trim, the vet told her that to prevent such a build up of hair that she could use some Nair hair remover on the dog's ears periodically. So after taking the dog home she hops on her motorcycle and rides up to the drug store for some Nair where a helpful pharmacist advised her, "If you're going to use that for your underarms, don't wear shirts with sleeves for a few days." The woman replies, "I'm not using it for my underarms though." "Well", the pharmacist adds, "if you're going to use that on your legs, don't wear long pants for a few days." "I'm not using it on my legs either", she replies, "but if you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist then adds, "Well in that case, stay off of that bike for about a week!"
  6. a bump to correlate with the What's The Speed Limit thread, the example
  7. You may have seen that following your request I did post a joke thread in Other Topics, almost immediately and just for you The reason behind posting the Speed Limit joke where I did, as well as why I'll continue to post a joke thread in an appropriate yet random sub forum category (for effect primarily), can be shown by the numbers. At the 48 hour point for each, this thread had over 230 views and the thread in Other Topics had 43 views. Now this here thread has took off down the rabbit trail and that's fine, and is why I used the 48 hour point as a bench mark, to catch it early in case it does, as they do, go off the rails. It appears that the first five sub forums get most of the traffic, but fall way short of the HDT sub forum which exemplifies the ideal forum in content and participation (I want an HDT just to hang around these folks, 1st class). I suppose many folks just don't scroll down that far on the forum page, I'll bump a thread for an example. So when I have a joke that I'd like to share to help folks smile/laugh I'll sneak it in where it'll be seen, but rest assured, I'll put one in Other Topics too with you in mind, and it'll certainly be something that I think you'll appreciate
  8. rm.w/aview

    Smile?

    A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mommy?" "To make myself beautiful", she replies. A few minutes later she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?", he asked. "Are you giving up?" A frightened man at the doctor's office says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it." Cautiously he does and he hears, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks!" "I've never seen or heard anything like this before, do you have any other symptoms?", the doctor asks. "Sure do doc, put your ear to my knee." So he puts his ear to the man's knee and hears, "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just give me 10 bucks!" "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never known any physical condition like this." "Wait doc, that's not all. Put your ear up to my ankle!" The doctor does and is stunned to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Please lend me 5 dollars if you will!" Amazed, the doctor frantically searches through his medical books then turns to the man and says, "There's absolutely nothing here in any of these books regarding your condition. At this point though, I can offer an educated guess if you like. It seems that your leg is broke in three places." The oldest American woman to ever graduate from college was a 99 year old Californian. (Good luck collecting on THAT student loan). While visiting her parents, a young woman helping her mother fix dinner opens the refrigerator and sees a spicy picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman. "What's this about Mom?", she asks. "Oh, I put that there to remind me not to over eat", the mother answers. "Is it working?", her daughter asks. "Well, yes and no", she replies. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20."
  9. I was thinking that you were going to outline the fender art, that's why I thought silver might be good. Between the outlined mock up & the non outlined mock up for the hood I like the non, the yellow, orange, and purple blending and fading into each other seems to pop without the outline... looks like paint from where I sit.
  10. While enjoying hot coffee al fresco, ol' Tom needs to whip out his hanky and gives a rip roarin' nasal snort into it for relief. Afterward he begins to fold the hanky back up exactly on the existing creases developed from being in his back pocket. Ol' Madge watches this with eyes wide and jaw dropped, to which Tom asks, "What's up with you?" Madge says, "Do you do that each and every time?" "Do what?" Tom asks. "Fold your hanky neatly on the creases like that after using it", she says. "Why yes, it fits nicely back into my pocket when I do so. Why do you ask?" "Well", she says, "when I'm doing the laundry and find your hanky in your pocket neatly folded like that I figure you haven't used it and put it right back into your drawer." "Well", Tom says, "that explains why I can't get my glasses clean."
  11. I like the right side too, with silver outline to bring it & the chrome together.
  12. Setting on the side of the highway waiting for speeders, a State Trooper sees a car sputtering along at 20mph and thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!", so he hits the lights and siren and gives chase. A short time later as he approaches the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies, two in the front and three in the back, eyes wide and white as ghosts. Confused, the driver says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am", the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit?", she asks. "No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly, 20mph", she says proudly. Trying to contain a chuckle the officer explains to her that "20" was the Route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I let you go Ma'am", the officer says, "is everyone in the car OK? These women seem awfully shaken & haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." "Oh they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 95."
  13. rm.w/aview

    Ta-dah

    Congratulations & Happy Trails! Hope you enjoy it all. In a short time this will be a long time ago.
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