I enjoy helping when I can. I gratefully accept offers of help when I need it. I decline when I don't need it.
I don't enjoy receiving lectures, scolds, or blowhards relentlessly berating others with poorly-informed opinion presented as fact. (in general, not referring to this thread)
I have learned to quickly ID the "helpful" slingers of BS by the use of words/phrases like these:
junk
nothing but problems
you can't
you have to
what you want to do is...
and the overuse of imperatives
As Bernard Russell reportedly said:
As far as offering help to single women, I do not take zero-upside risks that could upend my life in a moment. I am helpful if they request it or initiate conversation.