SKP084967 Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'." 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill/Mog Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Now I love that one. My mom was supposed to take thyroid medication the rest of her life. They only gave her one prescription, no refill, so she did not take it anymore after she finished her one prescription. Doc noticed it at next visit and corrected the error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP084967 Posted August 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2006 A WELL PLANNED LIFE???? Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, Did you manage to live a well planned life? " " Yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker." Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?" "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!" 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Jacobs Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Need another smile today? And, the little guy manages to have a look of pure innocence! My Photo Albums: www.leejacobs.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolJudy Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Way toooooo funny!!! I had to send the photo on to others but warned parents not to let their little ones see our little friend. If he is like my grandson he'll decided that is what he wants to wear for Halloween. Thanks for all the SMILES today. There seems to be a lot of sad or frustrating posts lately. This was a nice change of pace. Maybe we need a HUMOR thread. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Yes, there really is a COOL, California. Judy, Luke, and GSD Miss Shade SKP# 89390 - Boomers, SKP Elks, SKP Geocachers, Chapt. 8 CoolRVers on the Road Blog Selling 2007 Itasca Horizon 40TD and 06 Honda CR-V 2019 Dynamax Isata 3 Series 24FW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill/Mog Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Oh, he is adorable. Now we need one of him trying to take the sticky backed pads off of him. Thanks Lee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie60 Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Lee that is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember: "Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful "RIDE"!!!! Charlie60 Hubby: Mike Mini Doxie: Halle Vintage 1990 Prevost/Marathon: "TAD" Toad: "Vetta" the Jetta Class of 2006 (09/03/06) Blogspot: http://mikecharlie2007.blogspot.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP084967 Posted August 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Unity is a worthy goal. 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Cute ones! I got to learn to post pictures too. 2008 Montego Bay 2008 Ford 450 Super Duty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP084967 Posted August 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2006 You are aging when.... First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down. 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgood Posted August 15, 2006 Report Share Posted August 15, 2006 The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background check, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists... Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair." Took the plunge! Blogging at http://www.free-the-memes.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted August 15, 2006 Report Share Posted August 15, 2006 But she got the job done, eh? 2008 Montego Bay 2008 Ford 450 Super Duty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolJudy Posted August 15, 2006 Report Share Posted August 15, 2006 Sad News With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed recently. Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started. Hush up. You know it's funny. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Yes, there really is a COOL, California. Judy, Luke, and GSD Miss Shade SKP# 89390 - Boomers, SKP Elks, SKP Geocachers, Chapt. 8 CoolRVers on the Road Blog Selling 2007 Itasca Horizon 40TD and 06 Honda CR-V 2019 Dynamax Isata 3 Series 24FW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted August 15, 2006 Report Share Posted August 15, 2006 You're silly! 2008 Montego Bay 2008 Ford 450 Super Duty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP084967 Posted August 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgood Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.†The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.†Took the plunge! Blogging at http://www.free-the-memes.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP084967 Posted August 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 HANDY CONVERSION TABLE 1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond 5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billi gram 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot fur long 7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling 8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon 9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahertz 10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower 11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line 12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake 13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone 14. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles 15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle 16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds 17. 52 cards = 1 decacards 18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton 19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhose 20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche 21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin 22. 10 rations = 1 decoration 23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration 24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram 25. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms 26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Cornell University Hospital = 1 IV League 27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nana25k Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 A Lady with few skills applied at the toy factory for a job. After much searching the manager finally found a post for her and told her to report to work the next morning for work at 8AM. At 8:45 the floor manager appeared at the managers door pulling out his hair. "Please you have got to do something about the new hire. The toy line is backed up so bad we are now 3 days behind schedule." The manager went down and observed the lady. There she sat placing two balls in each piece of fabric and sewing them on to the toy. Slapping himself in the forehead the manager screamed: " NO...no...no "I told you to give Elmo two test TICKLES!" Ron & LindaClass of 20072000 Monaco Diplomat 2005 Honda Element"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" Theodore Roosevelt"We can't control the wind, but we can adjust our sail""When man gave up his freedom to roam the earth, he gave up his soul for a conditioned ego that is bound by time and the fear of losing its attachments." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP084967 Posted August 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 nana25k Smiling!!!! 38' 1996 Alfa Gold FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ. who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill/Mog Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Subject: Tick Warning I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times...but this one is real, and it's important...I checked with Snopes. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warming weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill/Mog Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 I know I have seen this joke before and hope I did not see it on here. Daughter sent it to me this evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BayGal Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 This is not a laugh, but definitely a Smile, and a tug on your heart. The video is awesome and it's here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2306376850295808016 Here's more of the story: Strongest Dad in the World [From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly] I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck. Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day. Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right? And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. ``He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an institution.'' But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.'' "Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want to do that.'' Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore for two weeks.'' That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!'' And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon. ``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year. Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?'' How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried. Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think? Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together. This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time. ``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.'' And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' one doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life. Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every > weekend, including this Father's Day. That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. ``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.'' Pam & Bob Wallace SKP #95184 - Class of 2007 2001 Royals International RW3841 2001 International 4700LP DT530E Our Location Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Jacobs Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 That's a beautiful story! Now, for another. What goes around, comes around, right? Today, our daughter, Nanci, took her two boys to the Illinois State Fair. Unaware that she wasn't at work and on her lunch break, I called to ask a question, and got Rexx (age 11) on the line first. When he passed the phone to his Mom. he told her to be sure to tell Nanna about what Maxx (9) said. Oh, oh.... what'd Maxx come up with now?!! Well, as they were wandering around the fairgrounds, as families will on fair day, all of a sudden, Nanci grabbed both boys and hollered, "Cow Show! RUN!!" And, she took off sprinting towards the show arena. They settled into the seats she found for them, and tried to ascertain just what was the point of two non-farm boys watching a bunch of cows when there was a perfectly good arcade not far distant. She patiently explained to them that going to the cow 'show' at State Fair with her Dad (their beloved Papa!) was one of her favorite parts of growing up..... they weren't buying. They finally convinced her their time could be better spent.... and they left the arena area. But, as they turned the corner, she saw a dairy cow demo.... and noted that kids were invited to try their hands at milking. She urged the boys to give it a try. Un, hu, no way, not those two! Rexx just gave his Mom a look that said he was sure she'd lost her marbles. Maxx flat-out refused, informing her, "Mommmm, WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT COW HAS BEEN, YOU KNOW!" That's our Maxx!!! We've been laughing all afternoon! Smile, everyone..... just think: most of us have raised our kids and what our grandkids do and say is just funny, not irritating! Lee My Photo Albums: www.leejacobs.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Kids can make life fun with things they say for sure. . . 2008 Montego Bay 2008 Ford 450 Super Duty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKP090436 Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Pay Me A Compliment A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly - pay me a compliment". The husband replies, "Your eyesight's perfect". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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