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Can I SMILE today?


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No Way!!!! icon_smile.gif

 

That's got to be one of the most inspired (and crazy) things I've ever seen! And, the scariest part is: you know that someone ACTUALLY did this for real! icon_eek.gif

 

... Wonder what kind of gas mileage he gets? ....

--

Mark

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  • 2 weeks later...

Fathers THEN and Fathers NOW

 

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late.

 

Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had that earring?"

 

 

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.

 

Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."

 

In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.

 

Today, a father's involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.

 

In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool.

 

Today, he'll get a digital organizer.

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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Is that because of the dark side of the force?

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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don't usually like these heartwarming stories, but this one is

truly interesting... In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in

Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University . On a hike through

the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one

leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe

approached it very carefully.

 

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and

found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

 

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood

out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put

down its foot.

 

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious

look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe

stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually

the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his

teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of

the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son

Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe,

lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did

that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring

at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help

wondering if this was the same elephant.

 

Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing

and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the

elephant and stared back in wonder.

 

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one

of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing

him instantly.

 

Probably wasn't the same elephant....

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Sister Rebecca, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.

 

As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.

 

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

 

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.

 

One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Yes, there really is a COOL, California.

Judy, Luke, and GSD Miss Shade

SKP# 89390 - Boomers, SKP Elks, SKP Geocachers, Chapt. 8

CoolRVers on the Road Blog

Selling 2007 Itasca Horizon 40TD and 06 Honda CR-V

2019 Dynamax Isata 3 Series 24FW

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Tom was in his early 50s, retired and started a second career. However,

he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was five,

10, 15 minutes late. But, he was a good worker and real sharp, so the

boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.

 

Finally, one day he called Tom into his office for a talk. "Tom, I have

to tell you, I like your work ethic. You do a bang- up job, but your

being late so often is quite bothersome."

 

"Yes, I know boss and I am working on it."

 

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd

though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the military.

What did they say if you came in late there"?

 

"They said, 'Good morning, General.'"

RV/Derek
http://www.rvroadie.com Email on the bottom of my website page.
Retired AF 1971-1998


When you see a worthy man, endeavor to emulate him. When you see an unworthy man, look inside yourself. - Confucius

 

“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” ... Voltaire

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RV

 

YES SIR !

 

RIGHT AWAY SIR !

 

THANK YOU SIR !

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible.

 

He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind

blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is

great," he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the

metal even more.

 

Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper

behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him

with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down

the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph.

 

Then he thought," What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."

He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to

catch up with him The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked

up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in

30 minutes and today is Friday If you can give me a reason why you were

speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

 

The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a

Florida State trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

 

"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper.

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George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline.

 

We want to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants!

 

That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. then, bring our troops home from Iraq to guard our Southern border.

 

When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq.

 

Tell him if he wants to come to America he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered, taxed and be a legal patriot.

 

This option will probably deter illegal immegration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life or themselves.

 

If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.

 

Problem solved.

Jim and Carolyn (And Sandy, The Wonder Dog)

SKP# 97859

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WELL

at least one George has his thinking right!!!

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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At ease RW, as you were . . . I'm not Tom! icon_biggrin.gif

RV/Derek
http://www.rvroadie.com Email on the bottom of my website page.
Retired AF 1971-1998


When you see a worthy man, endeavor to emulate him. When you see an unworthy man, look inside yourself. - Confucius

 

“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” ... Voltaire

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Rednecks know how to Git-R-Dun

 

Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

 

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

 

"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside

them logs, but he's hidin' it there."

 

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

 

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open

every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

 

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

 

"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd.... did the Sheriff come?"

 

"Yeah!"

 

"Did they chop your firewood?"

 

"Yep!"

 

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

HR Endeavor/Tracker 4WD

DataStorm F1/SatMx 5

See where I am today

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According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

 

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

 

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

 

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

 

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY

 

There are teachers, and then there are Educators.

--Karl

Fulltimer in training

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  • 2 weeks later...

In keeping in the spirit of the July holiday......

In quoting Mark Twain (1835 - 1910),

 

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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Good one RW, that's a keeper!

 

Marg,

Mark Twain and Will Rogers are two of my three favorite authors to quote too.

 

The third is A. Nonymous, whoever he was.

RV/Derek
http://www.rvroadie.com Email on the bottom of my website page.
Retired AF 1971-1998


When you see a worthy man, endeavor to emulate him. When you see an unworthy man, look inside yourself. - Confucius

 

“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” ... Voltaire

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RV

WHO... on first base... said Nonymous was the guy on third base....

 

or something like that.

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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RW!

 

I didn't worry about disagreeing with you for the reasons you stated, nor being read wrong. Or reading yours wrong. But if you read mine as I read yours and read any part wrong, based on reading into what you read, as you want to read the meaning, and not reading past experience in reading what was read, as the right read to what you read, and then I read anything wrong as well, reading mine would possibly result in my reading yours wrong, by reading too much into it. But if we read it right, can re-read it again to read into it what was written to be read in reading it in the first reading, right?

© RV Roadie/Derek Gore 2003. All rights reserved, three rights make a left.

RV/Derek
http://www.rvroadie.com Email on the bottom of my website page.
Retired AF 1971-1998


When you see a worthy man, endeavor to emulate him. When you see an unworthy man, look inside yourself. - Confucius

 

“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” ... Voltaire

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RV

 

You just made the jump from "Can I SMILE today"

to " My sides hurt and my knees and hands are very red."

 

Thanks Bro.

38' 1996 Alfa Gold

FREE MASON Home Blue Lodge #64/Lake Havasu, AZ.

who said? "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

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