Scared I made the wrong choice 6 months in

[Erinsmom3293]

Well Im in 6 months into my dream of RVing around the country with my daughter 2 dogs and a cat. Im in Texas and it has been a terrifying experience so much so that the weather has now stressed me to a point of having a seizure. Long and short of it Ive made a mistake. Not that I dont want to travel but Im scared to drive my RV. My older dogs health is deteriorating and my daughter is also suffering from terrible anxiety. Were just not enjoying our lives but more now hiding in a hotel away from tornadoes straight line winds and torrential rain.  I know i know I shouldnt be in the South suring the Spring but circumstances broughtme here and now er are stck. Im considering selling everything off and getting an suv that we can do a bit if traveling in and make our way back to the east coast. I feel like such a failure both financially and emotionally. Does this happen to people and if so what do they do. I dont know I just wanted to reach out and see what you all have to say. I left a bad situation and as much as I prepared for this trip I really did not prepare enough.  Any ideas or words of support would really help. And if anyone has any ideas on how I should go about selling all my stuff. We have no family and no friends here and feel very isolated and frankly scared. Thanks for listening 

[phillyg]

Well, perhaps someone who's experienced issues you've described will chime in.  It sounds as if you have multiple issues to deal with.  It certainly appears the weather is a big factor, but keep in mind that every other RV'er near you is subject to the same weather, and actual incidents of damaging weather is somewhat remote.  One thing I encourage is having weather warning apps on your cell phone, and know where to go in your immediate vicinity for safety if, for example, you receive a tornado warning.

[sandsys]

Coming from a bad situation to start with leaves a person more fearful than normal. I encourage you to find a support group where you can talk abut your fears to help you determine which ones are real. You will find most are not. They are your mind exaggerating what it perceives as threats that other people do not feel threatened by. If you can get a copy of Dr. David Burns' book The Feeling Good Handbook it can help you improve your self talk to where it is not so debilitating. I encourage you to get the book then hole up somewhere with your daughter and work through it together until you both feel less anxious. It helped me.

Linda Sand

[TwoTiredTeachers]

I'm so sorry.  Texas is a wonderful, beautiful state; but the weather can be a bit much for those not used to having tornado sirens go off.  That's unsettling in a house; I would imagine it could be terrifying in an RV.  

Be aware that many of us who are native Texans don't really take tornado watches seriously.  We spend much of the spring and early summer under the watches.  It doesn't seem like a big deal.  I read on a Facebook post the other day that only in Texas do we see a tornado warning on TV and look to see if we really need to take cover.  It's just the way it is.

What are the chances you could drive a bit more to the west?  If you were in New Mexico or Arizona, I don't think you would suffer through as many weather related things.

Be sure to come back to our state in the fall.  We don't really have a fall, but it isn't as hot as summer.  There are many things to see and do.

TwoTiredTeachers

 

 

[Barbaraok]

I felt MORE unsure in the spring storms on the East Coast than I ever did in Texas.   You have internet connections in your rig, right?   The park has a room to go to, probably the office or the bathrooms.  Looking at radar should help you determine if the storm is coming towards you or not.   It is really easy in the flat plains - once started, the storms tend to follow the line they are on.   In contrast, we spent several nights worried about the pine trees in NC coming down on us as the storms became unsteady and jumped around.   

But until you figure out what you want out of life, you will probably be unhappy no matter what decisions you make.  If you had ask should one stay in the mid-west during the spring or move west, any number of us would have suggest you move west.   It is all about setting up a system where you feel comfortable with the information you get and making decisions that are the best for you and your daughter.   I have the feeling that you didn't set up such a system and thus have no one to ask what preparations one should make during spring storm season.  Set up that system.  Ask questions and be prepared to be indignant when the suggests are not what you want, but are what you need to do based on the experience of those who have learned and are passing on information to you.

You don't say WHERE in Texas you are.  Remember, Texas is a BIG state.  But in general, you should be in New Mexico or Arizona by the end of March and then move to the west coast for the spring; north for the summer and then across the upper states into the east coast for the fall.  But you could run into bad weather anywhere.  For RVers, that means looking at 5 day forecasts and using the wheels to get yourself to an area with better weather protection.   Yes, I'm being  tough on you, but it is time to put that bit between teeth and make plans and start working towards getting yourselves to an area where you feel more comfortable. 

And yes, your older dog may not make it.  That is one of the downsides of getting a pet, the knowledge that at some point they will die before us and we will have to deal with it.   If he is having a very hard time and his quality of life isn't what you want, then you need to be honest with the vet and arrange to make sure that he is no longer in pain.  

And if that is more than you can handle, then go ahead, sell off the RV and make other arrangements.  At least you have tried - you didn't sit and say 'if only I'd ...."  you actually did something.   You can do more than you are giving yourself credit for, so don't stop.  Being active is ALWAYS better than sitting, wringing your hands.

 

[2gypsies]

Can you get to the home of Escapees - in Livingston, Texas?  You'll be in more RV family surroundings with many helpful folks. Rest there a while and regroup. Find someone to really talk to - a counselor or church person.  Hopefully, this is just a funky time for you and you'll pull out of it soon. Being around the Escapee population at Livingston will help tremendously.

[Kirk W]

I'm sorry that it has taken difficult times to bring you to our forums, as helping and supporting our fellow RV owners is what this group is all about. We might have been in a better position to assist, had you come here before you began your adventure. None the less, we still want to help you so we will do all that we are able. To sell the RV now and give up may not be your best option. If you give us a little bit more information about what the problems are which have you so upset, we would probably be better able to give good advice. 

3 hours ago, Erinsmom3293 said:

Not that I dont want to travel but Im scared to drive my RV.

What type of RV do you have, a travel trailer & truck, a motorhome, or truck & fifth wheel or some other combination? Have you considered getting RV driving training? We might be able to give advice, make suggestions or point you toward someone who can teach you but we will need to know where in Texas you are. there isn't much that we can do about the aging of your pet, as all of us face that at times but I'm wondering if your daughter's anxiety isn't largely due to your own fearfulness. If we could somehow assist you in overcoming your fears, I suspect that it would go a long way toward allaying your daughters as well. While you may feel more secure in a hotel, unless your RV has some sort of problems or leaks, the hotel is only slightly less vulnerable to bad weather than is an RV that is properly parked and set up, except under the most extreme conditions, when even those in a hotel should take cover in a storm shelter. There are thousands of folks traveling all over Texas at this time and yet they manage to live safely and enjoy life. Yes, there have been some major storms in parts of Texas in the past few days, but it doesn't warrant your fears or giving up the life that you wanted. Think back to the reasons you began this odyssey and ask yourself if those have all been fulfilled? I strongly recommend that you take some time to settle your nerves and think long and hard before you abandon your dreams. 

Feel free to express your feelings as much as you wish here and do share as much about the problems you have as you feel comfortable with as we do care and we will help in any way that we may be able.

[mptjelgin]

You've given it six months and it sounds like you're not enjoying yourself. If you are afraid to drive your vehicle, having health issues, and have a daughter who is also experiencing anxiety it may be time to hang it up. This lifestyle is definitely not for everyone, and I think many folks underestimate what a transition it can be. 

I agree with Barb. At least you tried. Move on to something else and perhaps try again at another time in your life. 

[wilyoung]

Without knowing your age, your daughter's age, your health problems, your current location, and the type and size of you RV it's hard to give much advice. I just checked the weather for Livingston, TX, home of ESCAPEES, and the next few days look pretty good. If you could manage to get there you would find a large group of fellow RVers who would be more than happy to give you all the support and advice you might want. Rest and recuperate there a few days, watch the weather, then head west when the weather looks good. Plan on staying in SKP parks as much as possible. You will get welcome support in every one.

One small bit of advice - How large and what type of RV do you have? It may be that you started too large. I've been both a boater and an RVer and I've seen people start too big in each. My advice - Start with the smallest, the absolute smallest, that you can possibly live in. Simple to maintain and easy to handle. I know, the salesman will tell you you can't get along with anything less than a 35ft diesel pusher. Don't believe him/her. Luxury can come later after you get the feel of it. One axiom in boating is a person will keep getting bigger and bigger boats until they get one one size too big and then trade down one. Don't start with one too big. You won't have it very long and It will probably be your last.

So get on over to Livingston. You'll find yourself among helpful friends.

Good luck,

 

[ms60ocb]

I see by your profile that  when you signed in 9 hours ago you were in Austin. A big place with lots of area towns. Where is the RV parked. I can see why you may be scared to drive especially if the area is new, construction don't help. My wife won't drive it.

Let us know where your parked, which way your headed and there are people who get to the open roads.

Being a lady alone with a daughter  and pets would stressful getting around. My wife don't know how I do it but time of day is a factor.

Clay

[JimK]

Having a "seizure" due to stress about the weather is not a normal reaction.  You need to resolve what is highly likely to be a medical issue.  Get off the road until you have worked through this issue with appropriate medical help.

 

[Erinsmom3293]

Thank you so much I am literally crying at the support ive been given. This is what I imagined this life to be unfortunately my experience in parks is very isolating no friends. Anyway let me answer a fee questions. I am 53 my daughter is 23. Ur absolutely right I started way too big I have a 34 ft Itasco Horizon towing a 10 foot trailer with my car on it. When I started this adventure I was one tough determined lady now......not so much.  I am at a park in Florence Texas. It is a nice place the owners are nice but their are zero amenities so unless u run into someone walking around and introduce urself theres no way to meet people. Now my seizure that was due to an inability to sleep at all for over a week which ran me down and triggered this. We had had one big scare and because it came at night I found myself unable to sleep and in constant protect mode so stress and no sleep sent my body into a mess. My dog. Well believe me i know what ur saying about him and Im not expecting miracles i knew leaving my home in upstate NY that he would probably not see NY again thus the second dog who has been a tremendous asset to my family. Shes a Texas dog so shes not afraid of anything.  I cant believe how u all supported me im so blown away and thankful and i want to say thx to the person whi said at least u tried. Thank u i really needed to hear that. We are returning to the RV in the next couple of hours and will buckle down and start making good decisions not based on fear. My biggest threat is usually myself. Thank you so much everyone I look forward to reading more comments ideas suggestions and hell sont be afraid to be hard on me i probably need it. I will update u all. So glad i found u all.  

[coachmac9]

As someone suggested above, try and make it to the Escapees headquarters in Livingston Tx. It's not to far and is a beuautiful drive from where you are. Take your time, enjoy the beauty of the wildflowers along the way, they are absolutely stunning right now in Texas. I think you will find lots of support and help at the Escapees park and lots of folks to talk to. At that point you can take a breather and relax for a while. When you are relaxed and refreshed you can make decisions with a clear mind and thought process. It's never good to make those decisions when stress levels are high, most of time those decisions turn out bad. Best of luck in whatever road you choose to travel down, life is way to short not to enjoy the journey!!

[Kirk W]

While you are rethinking things, why not contact the RV Driving School and see about getting some driving lessons? I'm sure that would help you a great deal to relax and enjoy traveling and the cost would be far less than what you will lose if you sell out and leave the RV behind. Those guys are very good at what they do and you will benefit a great deal for what you learn. There is an instructor based in Fredricksburg, TX.

Another option to make things less difficult is to have your daughter drive the car so that you don't have to tow anything, You could even invest in a pair of radios that would allow the two of you to converse as you travel and she could even lead you down the road to warn of any challenges that you may need to deal with. 

Quote

 I am at a park in Florence Texas. It is a nice place the owners are nice but their are zero amenities so unless u run into someone walking around and introduce urself theres no way to meet people.

 

2

That is exactly what you need to do. It is the way that all of us get to know each other, whether in an Escapee park or in any RV park. Walk through the park and greet the people that you meet. It is part of the RV culture to reach out to others as we travel. 

[Cloud 9]

Well, you have been given some good advice. I would suggest that you still are that same determined, tough lady. You have been buffeted about, literally and figuratively. You need to regroup, seek out a Escapees park, park awhile, lots of nice folks there. See how you feel after a bit, there is no rush.

.

 

[LFDR3116]

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that even as a couple starting this life, we had a hard time the 1st year.  It is a big adjustment and life does get much better for most.  At first we were afraid we wouldn't be able to find a campground at night, found out we didn't like traveling on expressways with all the traffic ( I was a nervous reck) or when it was raining and never at night.  We adjusted and travel US highways, state roads and enjoy the slower pace and small towns.    We didn't know what to do with holidays and just the 2 of us.  During our first year we had 2 dogs pass away with age related issued , we each lost a parent, one totally unexpected, had twin granddaughters born - so yes stress and anxiety galore.

I fully agree that getting to the Escapee park is a great idea.    Making friends makes this so much more rewarding.  We have been full-time 6 years now and are now starting to run into friends unexpectedly as we travel.   The circle is getting wider with each new relationship that is formed.    

Another suggestion is :  See if once you are at Escapees, you can find someone to give you driving lessons with your rig.  That should give you more confidence and in turn make you more comfortable when you travel.  

This forum is full of good people who are willing to help.  Keep taking advantage of it.

[Scott0960]

I don't know if you have given thought to talking to a Dr.  It sounds like your stress level is at a point that it is making it very difficult for you to make good decisions for you, for your daughter or for your pets.  I'm not trying to brush you off, or degrade you in any way, but do have experience with situations where someone needed to seek medical assistance in order to improve their quality of life.  There are many people who take anti-anxiety medications now and then.  

I hope that you are able to find happiness in whatever you decide.

 

[SecondWind]

18 hours ago, Erinsmom3293 said:

1.  I am at a park in Florence Texas. It is a nice place the owners are nice but their are zero amenities so unless u run into someone walking around and introduce urself theres no way to meet people.

 

On ‎4‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 6:27 PM, Erinsmom3293 said:

2.  My older dogs health is deteriorating...

3.  ... and my daughter is also suffering from terrible anxiety.

4.  Were just not enjoying our lives but more now hiding in a hotel away from tornadoes straight line winds and torrential rain.

Although you have multiple issues, they don't seem that related to each other, and they don't seem RV related at all.  Let's break this down in a logical, non-fearful fashion...

1.  Yeah, that park is only about 10 miles from me.  Bad choice.  Only been open about 4 or 5 months.  Nothing there, like they just poured some concrete slabs in a field and ran electricity and water to each one.  Researching an RV park is something that should be done before you decide to stop there.  And the best way to meet people IS to introduce yourself.

2.  Pets, like people, get old and die.  As another poster said, if the dog is in pain and not having a good "quality of life", then you should have it put down.  I was devastated when I took my 14-year old cat to the vet for an odd swelling on the side of her neck, and after a few tests the vet informed me the swelling was actually a fast-growing cancer tumor which would soon start choking her.  The vet then told me the "hard choice" would be the best one to make for the circumstances.  That was 3 years ago.  It still hurts me that I had to make that choice, and I still haven't replaced her.

3.  If your daughter didn't have anxiety issues before, then ten-to-1 she's just reacting to your own fearfulness

4.  I don't know anything about tornadoes and torrential rain in the Austin metro area.  I can't even remember the last time we had a good rain.  But maybe you experienced that in another location, before you got to Florence.  Central Texas doesn't have the tornado problem that north Texas does.  I moved to the Austin metro area in the summer of 2009 and weather-wise have never felt safer.  It's a far cry from the quite regular tornado sirens of rural Illinois where I moved from.

 

You need to find that "tough determined lady" who started this adventure, and ask her if she would give up this quickly.  Maybe you're just having a newbie panic, or maybe this really isn't for you.  Only you can figure that out.  But even if you do give up the RV lifestyle, remember this...  you're NOT a failure for chasing your dream.  Failure is for people who never try...  those who spend their lives sitting in the gray shadows, never knowing neither victory nor defeat.

These forums are a great place to learn about RVing, and a great place to start relationships with those you might run into later on the road.  Though I haven't experienced it myself, as I haven't even hit the road yet, there is certain multiple support networks out there for RVers.  There are also some good YouTube channels to learn from.  So best of luck to you.

 

Cheers,

Ken

[travelinbob]

You're mobile, if you're not enjoying where you are at, move on. You have wheels under you and they need to find your place of happiness. We fulltimed for 4 years and bought a house again and part timed for 4 years and sold that house that tied us down more than we liked.  We have now fulltimed since 2013 again. We found our little piece of paradise in SoCa where we stay planted from Sept to May and do our travels for 3-4 months in the summer. Find your paradise !!!

[Erinsmom3293]

Ken. Texas was never in my plans I actually got a call from my daughter who at that time was living in Texas (I was in Florida) she was pregnant and needed her Mom. She subsequently suffered a miscarriage and had to remove herself from the living situation she was in. I started this journey on my own. The only reason I ended up in this park was because everything I called was filled so I was happy to find a spot. We have had 2 major weather events in February. One the end of March that was so bad it sheered the bolts off my side awning.  We rocked and rolled thru all of them it was only the last one on April 2 nd that we decided to take a break   I follow the weather religiously with apps and live broadcasts over the internet. Thank u for ur support. I guess things didnt go as I planned them to but thats life whether ur in the road or in a solid structure. My dog is not near the put down stage but more not having the fun experience I thought i could give him before his time runs out maybe that sounds crazy but hell I guess crazy is the new me   Alot of lifes roller coaster ride has brought us to this point but if I get nothing more out of this adventure I have my only child and she is safe and yeah were stressed and maybe not transitioning well but absolutely nothing comes before her so I am thankful to God that I was able to be here when she really neeeded me and we have been able to live this life style together for a few months. What we do next will require more discussion   We went out and about yesterday following advice and meeting and greeting people   Step 1. Again thx for the input. 

[phillyg]

Your most recent post is more positive than your first, so good with that.  For future reference, if you're expecting more than 15mph winds it's time to think about pulling in your awnings to prevent damage.

[Erinsmom3293]

Thx I feel more positive now and in a better place to make decisions that I need to. Fun fact my awning was pulled in as a matter of fact was stuck up since I left Florida 3 months or so ago. The wind was so strong that it pulled the awning out and sheered the brackets at the base where the awning attaches to my rv. It was night when that storm hit and when the noise started we actually thought random stuff was hitting the side of the RV. So we hit the floor to be away from any potential breaking glass. It wasnt until the morning and we could see that it was the awning  i have pics but my file is too large to upload. 

[remoandiris]

On 4/3/2017 at 7:27 PM, Erinsmom3293 said:

 I dont know I just wanted to reach out and see what you all have to say. I left a bad situation and as much as I prepared for this trip I really did not prepare enough.  Any ideas or words of support would really help. And if anyone has any ideas on how I should go about selling all my stuff. We have no family and no friends here and feel very isolated and frankly scared. Thanks for listening 

Maybe you should consider workamping.  It will give you a "purpose".  It will also give you an avenue to meet people.  If your daughter is willing, both of you could workamp, maybe make a little money, but at least get your site for free.  And there are opportunities all over the country, as well as some year round jobs.  If you want to give it a shot, find an area you think you'd like and offer to do it for 4 months, from before Memorial Day to after Labor Day.  That is a manageable amount of time and the light will always be at the end of the tunnel.

[Erinsmom3293]

9 minutes ago, remoandiris said:

Maybe you should consider workamping.  It will give you a "purpose".  It will also give you an avenue to meet people.  If your daughter is willing, both of you could workamp, maybe make a little money, but at least get your site for free.  And there are opportunities all over the country, as well as some year round jobs.  If you want to give it a shot, find an area you think you'd like and offer to do it for 4 months, from before Memorial Day to after Labor Day.  That is a manageable amount of time and the light will always be at the end of the tunnel.

Thats a very good idea as well Ive been a part of their network since the beginning but have fallen behind with lifes changes. Im thinking that also going to something smaller to drive will alleviate some of the pressures and allow us to continue on our journey. I could always upgrade later on but I feel it would be better to downgrade for now. Thx for the suggestions and support. 

[JudyJB]

I just sent you a personal message, but I agree that you should find someplace and stay there for a while until you get more confident and recover from your scares.